Like most people with a healthy respect for the Constitution and an ass-pocket full of Jesus, you guys know how to inspect eggs for salmonella, right? No? Then you, my friends, are shit out of luck. Have fun eating poison omelets for the rest of your short, puking-out-of-your-eyes lives, because shit is about to be on. Brunch is for fatties anyway.
That guy with the bike fetish down below I was talking about yesterday makes this paragon of self reliance and bootstrap politics look like Abby Hoffman's weed skeleton campaigning for Dennis Kucinich.
From Crooks and Liars, that irrepressible gang of wacky, freedom-hating liberals:
GOP House candidate Jesse Kelly is running for Arizona’s 8th congressional district, and of course embraced that free market fetishism we've come to know and love at a campaign rally hosted by the Pima County Tea Party Patriots, telling a questioner it's our job to protect ourselves from eggs with salmonella:
During a question-and-answer period, a voter asked Kelly about the recent salmonella outbreak, which led to recall of more than half a billion eggs.The voter asked if Kelly, if elected, would he help pass a law that would allow the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and other government agencies to shut down companies that have too many safety violations, such as the companies that allowed millions of eggs that sickened people to be sold to the public.
Kelly responded that he doesn’t “believe what we’re lacking right now is more regulations on companies,” complaining that “you could probably spit on the grass and get arrested by the federal government by now.”
When the voter followed up by asking, “Who’s protecting us?” Kelly responded, “It’s our job to protect ourselves.”
The exasperated voter asked once more, “Am I supposed to go to a chicken farmer and say I’d like you to close down because all of your birds are half dead?” Kelly once more answered, “There’s a new thing that comes along every day. But I know this: Every part of our economy that is regulated by the government doesn’t have fewer disasters, it has more”
I don't really have anything else I can add to this, mostly because I just died of shame. Fortunately I planned ahead and fashioned a sort of crude system of levers and pulleys to animate my corpse for a few more List updates. You shouldn't notice any interuptions in normal service for at least a couple days until my lifeless flesh starts to turn sour. Here's another picture of a bear on a bicycle to wash the stupid out of your eyes.
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3 comments:
that bear is for bikes.
that last bear looks a little... you know. racist.
Yes, I agree that bear thought he was the shit. Like if I was in the grocery line he would make fun of the food I was buying...However I hope to die an egg death. I hope a steroid rooster rapes me and our hybrid chicks are born in space....anythings better than the clap
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