This just went up over at Street Carnage. Go read the rest there if you're into following links. Weirdo.
Talking shit about reality TV is boring because what else is there to say about how it has ruined the world and made literally everyone you know stupid? But it’s easy to forget that no matter how shitty something seems from the outside looking in, there are plenty of people who bust their asses every day trying to squeeze diamonds out of a pile of shit, like my man here, who is a reality TV producer and has worked on tons of shows you’ve pretended not to watch, both low-brow like hidden camera bits and shows where obese people learn the greatest lesson of all (love), to high-quality stuff like shows that feature hard-working blue collar bad asses doing their blue collar bad ass thing. I asked him about what sort of ridiculous hoops he has to jump through to make sure America stays dumb — I mean entertained.
Talking shit about reality TV is boring because what else is there to say about how it has ruined the world and made literally everyone you know stupid? But it’s easy to forget that no matter how shitty something seems from the outside looking in, there are plenty of people who bust their asses every day trying to squeeze diamonds out of a pile of shit, like my man here, who is a reality TV producer and has worked on tons of shows you’ve pretended not to watch, both low-brow like hidden camera bits and shows where obese people learn the greatest lesson of all (love), to high-quality stuff like shows that feature hard-working blue collar bad asses doing their blue collar bad ass thing. I asked him about what sort of ridiculous hoops he has to jump through to make sure America stays dumb — I mean entertained.
SBTVC: Walk me through an average day as a reality TV producer? What do you spend most of your time doing?
REALITY TV PRODUCER: I get into work most days around 8:30 in the morning. Most people don’t come in for about another hour or so. I try to use this time to get all of my writing done because by 9:30 it turns into a zoo. I share a bullpen with ten other people. There is a lot of yelling that goes on; not much of it is in anger — well, that’s not true. I would say most of it’s in anger.
Once everyone is in, I divide my time between working with my segment producer to prep for the upcoming shoot and sitting in the edit bays watching down what we’ve already shot. On top of that, I’m emailing and calling people trying to find out as much as I can about the area and the subject we are about to shoot so I can incorporate it into the script.
Because, like all reality shows, we are understaffed and under budgeted, we are forced to wear a lot of hats. I spend the majority of my time just putting out fires, whether it be tracking down the correct material to make a mermaid tale or negotiating an interview fee for a witness who claims she saw an alien. I spend a ton of time fixing problems when they pop up.
What’s the most time consuming part of your job? How much footage does it generally take to produce an hour-long episode? Is editing it all together the most tedious part?
The most time consuming part of the job is probably just running everything down that needs to be down before we go out for a shoot. I will spend hours taking care of all the problems. You also have to try and foresee any likely problem that could arise and have an answer for that as well. It’s tough to answer your question about editing because each show is different and they all take different amount of material to make. You take a show like [a certain, well-respected program] and a one-hour episode has 100s of hours of footage, while other shows like [another one you've heard of] take much less.
But I actually really like the editing part of the job. It is when you can actually see the show take form and come together. So much can be saved in the edit. I’ve seen pieces of shit going in and not as big of a piece of shit come out on the other side.
That’s gross. So are the people who want to be on reality TV really the dregs of humanity or what?
The people that want to be on reality TV are truly and utterly fucked-up people. These delusional bastards think people actually want to see them and that they are interesting. Let me tell you, these people are not interesting, they are just crazy. But at the end of a show after watching these people throughout the shoot and edit, I come to a place where I don’t just dislike the cast, I really hate them.
As a producer it is my job to coddle them and to make sure that they give us what we need, and coddling these people isn’t easy. Whether it’s cleaning up a mess they created or giving them cigarettes so they will do an interview, I have to make sure they are in good mood. Everyone thinks they know what they are getting themselves into by signing up to be on a reality show, but two weeks into it they realize that the cameras are always on them and they start hating it more and more. Basically I have to get them back in the right headspace.
The worst person I’ve had to deal with is [notable reality TV regular]. He was on [a really big show] and now does the reality circuit getting on whatever show will take him. He would get drunk every night and scream at the crew, and eventually went nuts and shit on one of the other cast members. That’s right: He took a shit on a person.
What about in the production side? Who are the biggest pricks you have to work with side-by-side?
Like any industry, there are always self-entitled dicks. But for some reason there seems to be a high level of dickheadedness in reality TV. Some EPs (Executive Producers) are screamers and they will just go off for no real reason but to do it. Then you have the network executives and they are really charmers. The majority of network people have never really worked in the field. They were assistants and they got moved up, so they have no idea how a TV show actually gets made and they will ask for things that are physically impossible, like a flying horse. My favorite executive story came one day out on set when we were shooting something that went really well, and the executive wasn’t as happy as we were and she told us that it was good but the middle part was boring. Yes, it was, that is why we have editing: We take out the boring parts and amp up the drama. It was like she didn’t even know how TV was made.
Are you ever proud of anything you’ve done?
There have been a few shows that I have worked on that got awarded or recognized for being good. That was my proudest moment. Also, I got to do behind-the-scene commentary for an enhanced version of one of the shows I worked on and that was really fun.
Do you try to get the people on some of these shows drunk on purpose so they act out?
On house reality shows, like The Real World or The Bachelor, a lot of drinking goes on because there is nothing to do. There is no TV, they aren’t allowed to leave the house, all there is to do is drink. So that is exactly what goes on. It also promotes bad behavior, which makes for good TV. I have seen some real drunkards. But the bigger story is the partying that goes on by the crew. If you are doing a location shoot, it is just pure debauchery. Tons of heavy drinking and drug use. You are forced to work these insane schedules, so when there is down time, the crew goes nuts. Lot of cheating goes on between co-workers, it’s just sort of a known thing.
What do you think about reality TV in general? Do people who work in it get really jazzed about what they’re doing or would most of them rather be doing something else?
I think reality TV is fine. I’m not really that into it but it pays my bills and, to be honest, I don’t really watch that much television because I work so much. But most people aren’t that into it, they are into doing the best job they can, whether it be working in reality or walking a dog. I would say there are very few people that actually move to Los Angeles to work in reality. I think most want to be in the scripted side of things, but the majority of jobs are in reality.
Do you enjoy any sort of social cachet because of what you do in LA?
No, this job gets me nothing. So many people are in the entertainment industry and the title “producer” gets thrown around so much that when I say I’m a producer, most people just roll their eyes and laugh. I really wish it could get me some attention from the ladies, but nope, it doesn’t even get me in the door.
REALITY TV PRODUCER: I get into work most days around 8:30 in the morning. Most people don’t come in for about another hour or so. I try to use this time to get all of my writing done because by 9:30 it turns into a zoo. I share a bullpen with ten other people. There is a lot of yelling that goes on; not much of it is in anger — well, that’s not true. I would say most of it’s in anger.
Once everyone is in, I divide my time between working with my segment producer to prep for the upcoming shoot and sitting in the edit bays watching down what we’ve already shot. On top of that, I’m emailing and calling people trying to find out as much as I can about the area and the subject we are about to shoot so I can incorporate it into the script.
Because, like all reality shows, we are understaffed and under budgeted, we are forced to wear a lot of hats. I spend the majority of my time just putting out fires, whether it be tracking down the correct material to make a mermaid tale or negotiating an interview fee for a witness who claims she saw an alien. I spend a ton of time fixing problems when they pop up.
What’s the most time consuming part of your job? How much footage does it generally take to produce an hour-long episode? Is editing it all together the most tedious part?
The most time consuming part of the job is probably just running everything down that needs to be down before we go out for a shoot. I will spend hours taking care of all the problems. You also have to try and foresee any likely problem that could arise and have an answer for that as well. It’s tough to answer your question about editing because each show is different and they all take different amount of material to make. You take a show like [a certain, well-respected program] and a one-hour episode has 100s of hours of footage, while other shows like [another one you've heard of] take much less.
But I actually really like the editing part of the job. It is when you can actually see the show take form and come together. So much can be saved in the edit. I’ve seen pieces of shit going in and not as big of a piece of shit come out on the other side.
That’s gross. So are the people who want to be on reality TV really the dregs of humanity or what?
The people that want to be on reality TV are truly and utterly fucked-up people. These delusional bastards think people actually want to see them and that they are interesting. Let me tell you, these people are not interesting, they are just crazy. But at the end of a show after watching these people throughout the shoot and edit, I come to a place where I don’t just dislike the cast, I really hate them.
As a producer it is my job to coddle them and to make sure that they give us what we need, and coddling these people isn’t easy. Whether it’s cleaning up a mess they created or giving them cigarettes so they will do an interview, I have to make sure they are in good mood. Everyone thinks they know what they are getting themselves into by signing up to be on a reality show, but two weeks into it they realize that the cameras are always on them and they start hating it more and more. Basically I have to get them back in the right headspace.
The worst person I’ve had to deal with is [notable reality TV regular]. He was on [a really big show] and now does the reality circuit getting on whatever show will take him. He would get drunk every night and scream at the crew, and eventually went nuts and shit on one of the other cast members. That’s right: He took a shit on a person.
What about in the production side? Who are the biggest pricks you have to work with side-by-side?
Like any industry, there are always self-entitled dicks. But for some reason there seems to be a high level of dickheadedness in reality TV. Some EPs (Executive Producers) are screamers and they will just go off for no real reason but to do it. Then you have the network executives and they are really charmers. The majority of network people have never really worked in the field. They were assistants and they got moved up, so they have no idea how a TV show actually gets made and they will ask for things that are physically impossible, like a flying horse. My favorite executive story came one day out on set when we were shooting something that went really well, and the executive wasn’t as happy as we were and she told us that it was good but the middle part was boring. Yes, it was, that is why we have editing: We take out the boring parts and amp up the drama. It was like she didn’t even know how TV was made.
Are you ever proud of anything you’ve done?
There have been a few shows that I have worked on that got awarded or recognized for being good. That was my proudest moment. Also, I got to do behind-the-scene commentary for an enhanced version of one of the shows I worked on and that was really fun.
Do you try to get the people on some of these shows drunk on purpose so they act out?
On house reality shows, like The Real World or The Bachelor, a lot of drinking goes on because there is nothing to do. There is no TV, they aren’t allowed to leave the house, all there is to do is drink. So that is exactly what goes on. It also promotes bad behavior, which makes for good TV. I have seen some real drunkards. But the bigger story is the partying that goes on by the crew. If you are doing a location shoot, it is just pure debauchery. Tons of heavy drinking and drug use. You are forced to work these insane schedules, so when there is down time, the crew goes nuts. Lot of cheating goes on between co-workers, it’s just sort of a known thing.
What do you think about reality TV in general? Do people who work in it get really jazzed about what they’re doing or would most of them rather be doing something else?
I think reality TV is fine. I’m not really that into it but it pays my bills and, to be honest, I don’t really watch that much television because I work so much. But most people aren’t that into it, they are into doing the best job they can, whether it be working in reality or walking a dog. I would say there are very few people that actually move to Los Angeles to work in reality. I think most want to be in the scripted side of things, but the majority of jobs are in reality.
Do you enjoy any sort of social cachet because of what you do in LA?
No, this job gets me nothing. So many people are in the entertainment industry and the title “producer” gets thrown around so much that when I say I’m a producer, most people just roll their eyes and laugh. I really wish it could get me some attention from the ladies, but nope, it doesn’t even get me in the door.
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