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When I put CVS on the List way back when, I thought the worst thing I could say about this mausoleum of shuffle-footed medicine-zombies was that it required me to stand in line for six days next to old people and 17 year old milfs whenever I needed a pack of dukes or a case of powdered drank. Turns out they're even worse than that. Sing that snarky blues, Gawker:
Do you have asthma? Well, try not to be poor, too! Or, actually, not poor, just... a dollar short:
"I had exactly a twenty-dollar bill. It came to twenty-one and change," [her boyfriend] Jack Brown said. "I offered him my cell phone, my wallet. I said i live right around the corner. I come in here all the time."
He was told the inhaler with tax would cost just over $21. He was short a dollar and change.
"I said 'Can you just give her the pump. She's on the floor wheezing," Jack said. "I didn't know if an ambulance would get there on time. He said there was nothing he could do for me."
Thankfully the girl didn't die. Although I guess I don't actually know her, so what do I care? You know what I mean. Also, looks like she's from Jersey, where allowing someone to die from an asthma attack is considered a compassionate death (haha, because of New Jersey, you see?) I'd say we organize a boycott of CVS to protest their systematic death-mongering ways, but if their brutally fluorescent-lit model of servicing cave bats get-better syrup hasn't turned all of you away by now, then this probably isn't going to change your mind. Also, I am literally going to go to CVS as soon as I write this to get some toothpaste and balls powder. It's just so close to my house, how can something so trivial as death get in the way of convenience? Also, I just realized I don't really give a shit about any of this. I dunno, I gotta go. Be back in a fortnight when I'm done wending my way through the pharmacy line.
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8 comments:
You're clearly distributing blame incorrectly here. You're pinning this on CVS, when clearly it's NEW JERSEY that's at fault. For existing, in general, among other things.
I hadn't considered it from that angle... hmmm. I've got some soul searching to do.
You need to hire a Sherpa and pack mule to have any hopes of making it through the lines at CVS.
This is clearly the same type of person who doesn't pay that Firemen Doing Their Job fee.
Also, if you ever want to start a riot in CVS, try straddling two lines and say you're going to whichever register opens up first.
Jesus dude, you're playing with fire on that one.
One time I had to exchange a tube of concealer at CVS, and the guy at the register managed to do the entire transaction without saying a single word to me. That takes a certain level of dedication to ignoring the customer.
I'd sort of prefer that to tell you the truth. I went to CVS in Harvard Sq. last night and was confronted with three screaming kids, a line almost up the stairs to use the self check out, and a novelty baseball hat vendor arguing with the manager about how the barcode on his wares should be working. That little interaction cost me like ten minutes of my life.
Harvard Square is where it was. I gave fervent thanks to the Lord Jesus the day the self-checkout arrived, but yeah, there's usually like 35 people in line, and most of them have never used a self-checkout before, or a computer, or a calculator, or put anything in a bag. Don't forget a guy asks you for money on the way in and out, so you can feel guilty about wasting that $4 on shampoo.
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