Monday, July 18, 2011

Educated commuter gets butt hurt, hires PR firm, not doing it right

via

TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR: misogynistic language, rape references, quotes from the NY Daily News, that fucking picture up there jesus what is going on there?

She got cunt hurt, I guess you'd call it. Remember the Cunt of the Week from while back who berated a commuter rail conductor for not being intimately familiar with the details of her college transcripts? It's ok if you don't, this is the internet where we're easily distracted. Hey look at this dog fighting a shark! Aww, good boy. 

Anyone  watch that Red Sox game last night? 16 scoreless innings. Baseball rules. La la la. Doot doot. 

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Oh shit, so this Cunt of the Week nominee, Hermon Raju, which puts her in the running for our prestigious Cunt of the Year prize I should point out, has decided she was ill-treated by the internets when her tirade was broadcast for all the world to see.  Or to put it another way  "I can honestly say I feel raped by the Internet," Raju gripes, after claiming that she initially was advised "not to speak to the media" about the incident, reports the New York Daily News. Although can you really call what they do over there reporting? Births-forth unto the be-smirking visages of blue-collar commuters maybe. Ones who aren't as educated as people like Ms. Raju, and myself.


"I honestly think that she doesn't know how the internet works. Or rape," our man Richard Bouchard pointed out when he sent me the link.

‎"I feel like I have been robbed of everything, including my identity," Raju said in a letter looking for someone to help her handle the crisis in the media. "I am not seeking fame or notoriety. I just want my life back." 
 
SO I AM HIRING A PR FIRM AND GIVING INTERVIEWS ABOUT IT UNTIL YOU GUYS FORGET ABOUT ME.

I actually think I've decided to come down on Raju's side after all, if I can be sincere here for a minute. *Whispers to PTSOTL lawyer sitting next to me at long table* Can I do that? 

I've been advised I can, but I shouldn't. 

Think about the shit you say when you're enraged. It's not exactly brilliant, now is it? I'm sure this could have been any of us. When you get angry your brain just turns off. Not to mention you can't really hear anything for some reason. WHAT DID YOU SAY? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY? SAY IT AGAIN. SAY IT AGAIN.  I'm sure half the things I've ever said in my life, even the ones that weren't born of anger, would make me seem ridiculous if they were caught on tape and sent around the world, which is why I think this woman's real crime here wasn't big-upping her education (that's just school pride right there) it was breaking one of the founding principles of PTSOTL, which is this: never say anything, anywhere, to anybody. The end.

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