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| I hope no one at the club is wearing the same bee suit as me. via |
Being a super famous scenester no matter where you live is easy. Here's how: 1) Show up. 2) Be old enough that you've been around so long that people sort of have to slouch into your orbit at one point or another or else it would be kind of weird. 3) Say “Hey man!” to people you barely know over and over again. Forever.
That was simple, right? Next thing you know you'll be living in an isolated cocoon of fashion-forward decadence and barely coherent, one-sided conversations in dark rooms so loud you can barely hear yourself talk over someone else talking over you about their half-formed projects. As one of my musician scenester friends put it recently, which is the truest thing I've heard in a long time, “When two artists talk, it's like a game of Risk to see who takes over the conversation by force.”
Also like Risk in that I usually like to start in Australia. And nobody really knows what Kamchatka is.
Or as Courtney Taylor-Taylor, the Oscar Wilde of people who know their way around the Hawthorne District, once put it “What do you do? Oh yeah I wait tables too, no I haven't heard your band cause you guys are pretty new...”
Sometimes you want a little more out of your f2f ITL interactions in 'the scene' though. Or maybe your s.o. isn't involved in music or art or media in an direct way, aka has a big person job, and they feel left out of the bullshit dance when you go out together. I was thinking about this recently, if your definition of recently is every single time I've ever gone out for the past ten years, and a few questions came to mind.
I decided to put them to a disparate group of scenesters I fart next to at clubs, or I know from around the way, band bros/girl bros, DJs, and just your average hanger-outers from around the country. Instead of editing it into a readable narrative piece, which quite frankly would take a lot of work, and the guy behind this blog doesn't pay me shit, I decided to just post a few of their entire responses below. You've heard of a lot of them, but most of them wanted to be anonymous.
1) Do you feel like you yourself treat people who you meet out in the world that are not involved in music/media/arts differently than people who are? Do you think the majority of people 'in your specific scene' do this? I'm also interested in how this applies to the significant others of people who you know through music etc.
2) What do you think about the idea of peripheral friendship? Meaning, do you think it feels phony to 'know' people that you see out in the world all the time without really knowing them? Is it bad to kind of be friends with someone, even if it's for a span of years? Or do you think at a certain point if you haven't had a meaningful interaction with someone yet then you are just carrying on an oppressive charade that you are trapped in forever?
Here's what they said.
That was simple, right? Next thing you know you'll be living in an isolated cocoon of fashion-forward decadence and barely coherent, one-sided conversations in dark rooms so loud you can barely hear yourself talk over someone else talking over you about their half-formed projects. As one of my musician scenester friends put it recently, which is the truest thing I've heard in a long time, “When two artists talk, it's like a game of Risk to see who takes over the conversation by force.”
Also like Risk in that I usually like to start in Australia. And nobody really knows what Kamchatka is.
Or as Courtney Taylor-Taylor, the Oscar Wilde of people who know their way around the Hawthorne District, once put it “What do you do? Oh yeah I wait tables too, no I haven't heard your band cause you guys are pretty new...”
Sometimes you want a little more out of your f2f ITL interactions in 'the scene' though. Or maybe your s.o. isn't involved in music or art or media in an direct way, aka has a big person job, and they feel left out of the bullshit dance when you go out together. I was thinking about this recently, if your definition of recently is every single time I've ever gone out for the past ten years, and a few questions came to mind.
I decided to put them to a disparate group of scenesters I fart next to at clubs, or I know from around the way, band bros/girl bros, DJs, and just your average hanger-outers from around the country. Instead of editing it into a readable narrative piece, which quite frankly would take a lot of work, and the guy behind this blog doesn't pay me shit, I decided to just post a few of their entire responses below. You've heard of a lot of them, but most of them wanted to be anonymous.
1) Do you feel like you yourself treat people who you meet out in the world that are not involved in music/media/arts differently than people who are? Do you think the majority of people 'in your specific scene' do this? I'm also interested in how this applies to the significant others of people who you know through music etc.
2) What do you think about the idea of peripheral friendship? Meaning, do you think it feels phony to 'know' people that you see out in the world all the time without really knowing them? Is it bad to kind of be friends with someone, even if it's for a span of years? Or do you think at a certain point if you haven't had a meaningful interaction with someone yet then you are just carrying on an oppressive charade that you are trapped in forever?
Here's what they said.
SCENESTER #1 To your average ambitious musician, or really anyone in a career driven path, your friends tend to get separated into little influential pools that you can categorize as such: true friend, career friend, party friend. And behind all that is the 'rest of them.'
True friends are the smallest group composed of a subset of 'old friends', who most likely came from high school, or the neighborhood you grew up in. You've both done your time together in childhood and thus they know you better by sheer virtue of time done getting through life as kids than anybody else. You probably share some deep, dark secret together like you used to blow up frogs with firecrackers down by a scummy pond.
The true friend is the person you call when someone just broke up with you or a close relative has died. They are your best men/bridesmaids types and you often cry together drinking. They stick around.
For someone with upward mobility in whatever sphere of the arts you are trying to conquer, you then accumulate career friends. These are people whom you may mutually respect, people you don't respect but pretend to because they are influential and, of course, actual powerful people you need to keep close in order to continue getting opportunities that allow you to do whatever it is you do in front of people. These are the tricky bunch.
You probably don't know their birthdays. You probably don't know about that time they said something really embarrassing in science class and are still mortified at the thought 10 years later which clouds their interactions with people to this day. You don't know this because you've never cared to ask because you're spending all of your time with these people in loud clubs, at after parties and other places that aren't conducive to doing anything other than talking about what you've done career-wise, what you're about to do and how it could be mutually beneficial to the both of you.
The party friend is easy. You slam shots together, slap high five and exchange a good word. You're totally gonna hang out this week and then you never do because they aren't in category one or two. They always come to your shows, you have no idea where they live or what they do for a living except that whatever it is, it pays well enough for them to be out drinking 3-4 times a week.
So that leaves the other people. I think I can sum it up this way: Most creative types whether consciously or not look a little askew at people whom they perceive as not striving for something a bit bigger out of life. Most can't accept the fact that people actually sit behind a desk for 8+ hours working very hard for someone else in order to have the consistent scratch to have a large TV to watch Netflix on. If you boil it down, creatives tend to want to work for themselves or at least be perceived as talented enough to be handed money on the merits of their art. So there is a barrier between the artist and the other person in which the other person is possibly looked down upon or not considered interesting because they don't base their self worth on their art. Note: this is not a healthy way to live.
People are interesting. All people. To be a good and thoughtful person I think it's important to give everyone respect. To shut out large swaths of people just because they aren't part of the perceived counter culture you subscribe to will leave you with a echo chamber of people who think just the same as you. Where is the room to grow and learn from people who have a different outlook on life than yourself? When was the last time that 'career friend' or 'party friend' called you up to see how you are doing without wanting anything in return? Would they be there to help you clean up a personal mess? No, and you want to know why? Because you've never shown them the same regard. Having periphery friends is akin to this sense of personal materialism. You build up a 'collection' of people that looks amazing on paper until the thought dawns on you that these are real, actual people with concerns and problems of their own. That's the basis of why we're part of a music or art scene to begin with, to make human connections. But once you get a taste of success you want the success for what it is instead of the personal connections that helped you get there in the first place.
This all goes out the window if you want to sleep with anyone of the people in these groups. All of it.
True friends are the smallest group composed of a subset of 'old friends', who most likely came from high school, or the neighborhood you grew up in. You've both done your time together in childhood and thus they know you better by sheer virtue of time done getting through life as kids than anybody else. You probably share some deep, dark secret together like you used to blow up frogs with firecrackers down by a scummy pond.
The true friend is the person you call when someone just broke up with you or a close relative has died. They are your best men/bridesmaids types and you often cry together drinking. They stick around.
For someone with upward mobility in whatever sphere of the arts you are trying to conquer, you then accumulate career friends. These are people whom you may mutually respect, people you don't respect but pretend to because they are influential and, of course, actual powerful people you need to keep close in order to continue getting opportunities that allow you to do whatever it is you do in front of people. These are the tricky bunch.
You probably don't know their birthdays. You probably don't know about that time they said something really embarrassing in science class and are still mortified at the thought 10 years later which clouds their interactions with people to this day. You don't know this because you've never cared to ask because you're spending all of your time with these people in loud clubs, at after parties and other places that aren't conducive to doing anything other than talking about what you've done career-wise, what you're about to do and how it could be mutually beneficial to the both of you.
The party friend is easy. You slam shots together, slap high five and exchange a good word. You're totally gonna hang out this week and then you never do because they aren't in category one or two. They always come to your shows, you have no idea where they live or what they do for a living except that whatever it is, it pays well enough for them to be out drinking 3-4 times a week.
So that leaves the other people. I think I can sum it up this way: Most creative types whether consciously or not look a little askew at people whom they perceive as not striving for something a bit bigger out of life. Most can't accept the fact that people actually sit behind a desk for 8+ hours working very hard for someone else in order to have the consistent scratch to have a large TV to watch Netflix on. If you boil it down, creatives tend to want to work for themselves or at least be perceived as talented enough to be handed money on the merits of their art. So there is a barrier between the artist and the other person in which the other person is possibly looked down upon or not considered interesting because they don't base their self worth on their art. Note: this is not a healthy way to live.
People are interesting. All people. To be a good and thoughtful person I think it's important to give everyone respect. To shut out large swaths of people just because they aren't part of the perceived counter culture you subscribe to will leave you with a echo chamber of people who think just the same as you. Where is the room to grow and learn from people who have a different outlook on life than yourself? When was the last time that 'career friend' or 'party friend' called you up to see how you are doing without wanting anything in return? Would they be there to help you clean up a personal mess? No, and you want to know why? Because you've never shown them the same regard. Having periphery friends is akin to this sense of personal materialism. You build up a 'collection' of people that looks amazing on paper until the thought dawns on you that these are real, actual people with concerns and problems of their own. That's the basis of why we're part of a music or art scene to begin with, to make human connections. But once you get a taste of success you want the success for what it is instead of the personal connections that helped you get there in the first place.
This all goes out the window if you want to sleep with anyone of the people in these groups. All of it.
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| via YourSceneSucks (the lulz) |
SCENESTER #2 Yeah, to some extent when talking to people outside the music and arts community you treat them a bit differently. I think each side would normally make an effort to find some sort of common ground to talk about out or relate to. I have a lot of friends in and outside the music community that I feel like I can relate to well and don't really see it as an issue. When I'm with someone who I can get in depth with about music or gear or anything, of course we nerd out about it, but when I'm with someone who isn't directly involved or knowledgeable about music there's still a lot to talk about in a broad sense.
I find a lot of things in music or arts are analogous to so many other fields. I don't know if I can speak for people in my specific scene, I'm not quite sure what that'd be or if I fit in with it, but I think it's all about how you approach a conversation knowing the other person.
My girlfriend is an artist and musician. We rarely talk about either...not sure why.
[As for the friendship issue] I really don't look at it as a bad thing. I think it's best to always be looking to meet new people and expanding who you know. What's worse is being stuck surrounded by the same people for years and never reaching out to anyone else. You should always be trying to make contact with new people who seem interesting while maintaining a good relationship with your closest. You're limiting yourself to what you get exposed to if you don't.
I've met a lot of interesting people in the Boston music scene just by shooting random emails with questions or just talking at bars or shows. I mean, take this e-mail for example. Luke, we've exchanged like two Facebook messages and we got introduced at the Boston Phoenix Music awards. I can't say I know you too well, but we now know we have a bit in common and we can exchange this kind of communication. I think that's kinda cool. I'd probably say I'm a peripheral connection, but it's not a bad thing.
I feel like if you're genuine to people, even if they're peripheral friends, you can still keep up some relationship. But if you're standoffish and pretend you don't recognize them or just bullshit them, then well, you're a shitty person.
I find a lot of things in music or arts are analogous to so many other fields. I don't know if I can speak for people in my specific scene, I'm not quite sure what that'd be or if I fit in with it, but I think it's all about how you approach a conversation knowing the other person.
My girlfriend is an artist and musician. We rarely talk about either...not sure why.
[As for the friendship issue] I really don't look at it as a bad thing. I think it's best to always be looking to meet new people and expanding who you know. What's worse is being stuck surrounded by the same people for years and never reaching out to anyone else. You should always be trying to make contact with new people who seem interesting while maintaining a good relationship with your closest. You're limiting yourself to what you get exposed to if you don't.
I've met a lot of interesting people in the Boston music scene just by shooting random emails with questions or just talking at bars or shows. I mean, take this e-mail for example. Luke, we've exchanged like two Facebook messages and we got introduced at the Boston Phoenix Music awards. I can't say I know you too well, but we now know we have a bit in common and we can exchange this kind of communication. I think that's kinda cool. I'd probably say I'm a peripheral connection, but it's not a bad thing.
I feel like if you're genuine to people, even if they're peripheral friends, you can still keep up some relationship. But if you're standoffish and pretend you don't recognize them or just bullshit them, then well, you're a shitty person.
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SCENESTER #3 Hmm, interesting questions. It got me thinking and brought out the sad conclusion that I hardly ever meet anyone new in [my city]. When I do it's always at some kind of show/party where it's loud, late and everyone is intoxicated in some way. In those situations, only the craziest looks and most outgoing personalities will stand out, and all the rest usually blur together.
I guess because my whole life revolves around what is the newest, most groundbreaking thing in music/art/fashion, I have a hard time getting interested in people who aren't creatively inclined in some way. It's not that I won't be cordial, but it's likely that the conversation will end after the exchange of names. What are we gonna talk about? Favorite TV shows? (I do admit I judge people that actually follow reality TV, including anyone who has watched Jersey Shore more than twice.)
I guess in this current electronic music scene it's not as easy to pick out someone who is 'not part of the group' as in say, punk or hippie scenes where outward appearance and dress is a bigger part of affiliation with the group. Hell, I remember coming from the goth scene to [my current scene] and thinking 'man these people are all norms', because at that point I would hardly even bother with anyone that didn't at least have some facial piercings and zany colored hair.
In the case of significant others, I think it really depends on the enthusiasm of the partner. Usually they are part of the fun and when they are I have seen them grow in their personal creativity! Sometimes they are ignored or in a couple cases I have experienced, never brought out to parties by their significant others. Those relationships never last.
For your second question, I don't think it's wrong at all to have casual acquaintances, even if they're someone you see every week. Myspace and FB have sort of created this myth that everyone you know in any way must be your 'friend', which mostly just dilutes the meaning of the word.
I don't expect (nor am I able, really) to immediately connect with every single person I meet, and frankly, people that put all their deets out there up front usually come off as obnoxious. I'm okay waiting for the day when perhaps someone I didn't give particular thought to surprises me with say, their excellent culinary skills or hyperspecific body of knowledge.
I guess I just don't consider a specific lack of connection with a person to be a negative thing, just something that is. A potential, even!
Some people are good friends. Some people are good party friends. Some good party friends aren't great people.
I guess because my whole life revolves around what is the newest, most groundbreaking thing in music/art/fashion, I have a hard time getting interested in people who aren't creatively inclined in some way. It's not that I won't be cordial, but it's likely that the conversation will end after the exchange of names. What are we gonna talk about? Favorite TV shows? (I do admit I judge people that actually follow reality TV, including anyone who has watched Jersey Shore more than twice.)
I guess in this current electronic music scene it's not as easy to pick out someone who is 'not part of the group' as in say, punk or hippie scenes where outward appearance and dress is a bigger part of affiliation with the group. Hell, I remember coming from the goth scene to [my current scene] and thinking 'man these people are all norms', because at that point I would hardly even bother with anyone that didn't at least have some facial piercings and zany colored hair.
In the case of significant others, I think it really depends on the enthusiasm of the partner. Usually they are part of the fun and when they are I have seen them grow in their personal creativity! Sometimes they are ignored or in a couple cases I have experienced, never brought out to parties by their significant others. Those relationships never last.
For your second question, I don't think it's wrong at all to have casual acquaintances, even if they're someone you see every week. Myspace and FB have sort of created this myth that everyone you know in any way must be your 'friend', which mostly just dilutes the meaning of the word.
I don't expect (nor am I able, really) to immediately connect with every single person I meet, and frankly, people that put all their deets out there up front usually come off as obnoxious. I'm okay waiting for the day when perhaps someone I didn't give particular thought to surprises me with say, their excellent culinary skills or hyperspecific body of knowledge.
I guess I just don't consider a specific lack of connection with a person to be a negative thing, just something that is. A potential, even!
Some people are good friends. Some people are good party friends. Some good party friends aren't great people.
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| YourSceneSucks |
SCENESTER #4 I don't think we do [treat people differently] I mean, it's hard to have conversations with people who have no interest in creative or artistic endeavors, just as I am sure people who are mostly interested in sports have a hard time conversing with me. I think that is more just incompatibility of interests. In fact, it's usually easier to talk with non-artists because they are willing to let you talk about what you're up to creatively without edging in. When two artists talk, it's like a game of Risk to see who takes over the conversation by force.
I think "peripheral friendship" is the best imaginable situation. I am both a very private person and a very public person. I enjoy having a lot of acquaintances and I enjoy having few close friends. I am not particularly interested in shifting that balance, but I do feel the interactions with acquaintances are just as valuable as the interactions with friends. In the case of acquaintances, I just have less at risk while I can still have fulfilling intellectual interactions. That is also why I really enjoy Facebook. It allows me to have a vague sense of what several hundred people are up to without having to actively interact with them. I don't consider it a charade. I think it's rare, and appropriately so, that someone transitions from peripheral to essential.
SCENESTER #5 Yes, [I do treat people differently]. This has been pointed out to me by my two most recent ex-girlfriends. I don't think it's so much that I (or we, because to answer your other question, yes, I think a lot of people in my 'scene' do it) treat them differently on purpose, I think it's more a case of having less to talk about with them. Or it being easier to talk about 'my stuff' with people who are interested in the same thing. There's a shorthand, there are goings on that can be talked about without filling in backstory, etc. I've come to the conclusion recently that this is a problem, like I said, it's been an issue with girlfriends lately. Personally, I'm trying to be conscious of it. It's not too big of a problem to fix, once you think about it for a few seconds, but I think a lot of people are happy with the insular community they live in and don't look at it as a problem. It's pretty shitty. Maybe it isn't for them, I can only speak for me. And I don't think it's unique to music/arts/media, I think everyone does it. Guys that are into mixed martial arts, like really into it, surround themselves with people who are like-minded. Guys who work in finance, guys who are really into hockey. Parents. That's a good one. How many people have you been friends with that have kids and all of a sudden live in a kid-centric universe? They do parent things with other parent friends and parent groups and treat anyone who isn't a parent as something less than them. Oh, also Republicans.
Peripheral friendship is really weird if you think about it in just the terms you're laying out. Yes, it's phony to see the same people all the time without really getting to know them over time and having the same small talk conversation for years is a weird charade. On the other hand, we're mostly grown-ups and isn't that sort of the way things go? You see people all the time in life that for whatever reason you don't get closer to as time passes - at work, family holidays, whatever. So you see these people and you do a little small talk dance and you move on. It's an odd thing if you think about it, but I don't think it's good or bad, I think it just is. For me, it's not like I'm not adding any new people to the friend roster. In fact it's the opposite; I've become pretty close to some new people in the last year. I've drifted apart from a couple people as well, and those peripheral people just kind of stay where they are. I guess there's a reason they exist in the periphery, isn't there?
I think "peripheral friendship" is the best imaginable situation. I am both a very private person and a very public person. I enjoy having a lot of acquaintances and I enjoy having few close friends. I am not particularly interested in shifting that balance, but I do feel the interactions with acquaintances are just as valuable as the interactions with friends. In the case of acquaintances, I just have less at risk while I can still have fulfilling intellectual interactions. That is also why I really enjoy Facebook. It allows me to have a vague sense of what several hundred people are up to without having to actively interact with them. I don't consider it a charade. I think it's rare, and appropriately so, that someone transitions from peripheral to essential.
SCENESTER #5 Yes, [I do treat people differently]. This has been pointed out to me by my two most recent ex-girlfriends. I don't think it's so much that I (or we, because to answer your other question, yes, I think a lot of people in my 'scene' do it) treat them differently on purpose, I think it's more a case of having less to talk about with them. Or it being easier to talk about 'my stuff' with people who are interested in the same thing. There's a shorthand, there are goings on that can be talked about without filling in backstory, etc. I've come to the conclusion recently that this is a problem, like I said, it's been an issue with girlfriends lately. Personally, I'm trying to be conscious of it. It's not too big of a problem to fix, once you think about it for a few seconds, but I think a lot of people are happy with the insular community they live in and don't look at it as a problem. It's pretty shitty. Maybe it isn't for them, I can only speak for me. And I don't think it's unique to music/arts/media, I think everyone does it. Guys that are into mixed martial arts, like really into it, surround themselves with people who are like-minded. Guys who work in finance, guys who are really into hockey. Parents. That's a good one. How many people have you been friends with that have kids and all of a sudden live in a kid-centric universe? They do parent things with other parent friends and parent groups and treat anyone who isn't a parent as something less than them. Oh, also Republicans.
Peripheral friendship is really weird if you think about it in just the terms you're laying out. Yes, it's phony to see the same people all the time without really getting to know them over time and having the same small talk conversation for years is a weird charade. On the other hand, we're mostly grown-ups and isn't that sort of the way things go? You see people all the time in life that for whatever reason you don't get closer to as time passes - at work, family holidays, whatever. So you see these people and you do a little small talk dance and you move on. It's an odd thing if you think about it, but I don't think it's good or bad, I think it just is. For me, it's not like I'm not adding any new people to the friend roster. In fact it's the opposite; I've become pretty close to some new people in the last year. I've drifted apart from a couple people as well, and those peripheral people just kind of stay where they are. I guess there's a reason they exist in the periphery, isn't there?
SCENESTER #6 Not really, although once I know that I'm amongst fellow music lovers I tend to go right to related topics. But I think that would be true of anyone.
What would the world be without acquaintances? There's nothing at all wrong with simply knowing someone on a "hi, how's things" basis. It can be comforting sometimes. Obviously we all have our close friends, and the people we always want to spend time with. But there's nothing at all wrong with being friendly with lots and lots and lots of people.
What would the world be without acquaintances? There's nothing at all wrong with simply knowing someone on a "hi, how's things" basis. It can be comforting sometimes. Obviously we all have our close friends, and the people we always want to spend time with. But there's nothing at all wrong with being friendly with lots and lots and lots of people.
SCENESTER #7 Man. Heavy hitter questions. (Keeping it anonymous), I do definitely feel like the media/arts/music world promotes an incest-y vibe, which does carry a sense of superiority with it. I think it's about having the sense that you have something to offer, in a personal sense that also of course extends into the business sense. With my recent [lost job], I think it will be interesting to observe how people might interact differently, now that we'll be operating as humans without the same bargaining chips.
SCENESTER #8 It's all an oppressive charade, though, innit? But yeah, I know a few significant others who feel like they have gotten short shrift because they weren't involved in whatever pissy little microcosm happened to be applicable.
SCENESTER #9 I try not to [do that]. Do people in this circle of artists? Yes. People are are infatuated with status and think it's a competition. People like that don't understand why they're in it in the first place and probably shouldn't be doing whatever there doing.
Do I feel "just a moment with a stranger" matters? ALWAYS. EVERY MOMENT MATTERS. Everything and everyone is here to learn and teach us a lesson in life. If we don't learn from them we will run through the same moments with others till we do.
You are who you hang out with. Live for music as a whole and respect others that want the same.
Don't copy or fake role play, be who you are, you'll get more respect.
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21 comments:
I'm in the my 3rdz btw
In fact, it's usually easier to talk with non-artists because they are willing to let you talk about what you're up to creatively without edging in
"I like being around normal people, because they are too polite to tell me to STFU when I talk about myself and my excessively strong, unsolicited opinions"
i am one of those sad, short shrifted s.o.'s of a scenester. My dude and I have a pretty frequent conversation after he tries to include in me whatever is going on after the regular folk go to bed at night which usually involves me saying things like this:
I'm not trying to come off like a bitch, I just can't blow smoke up someone's ass all night long just for the privilege of being near them. If I meet someone and ask them a bunch of questions about themselves and they don't ever come back with at least one returned question or some small connection that we can talk about, then I'm done talking to them.
And he says things like this:
these people aren't really cool. they're just trying to look cool, they're more afraid of you than you are of them.
The thing is that it really doesn't matter which one is true. Whether you are actually cool (no one is actually cool) or just trying to look cool, if you can't take an interest in someone because you see some sort of an invisible separation between you and them based on creativity and motivation, then you're kind of pretentious and definitely going to seem like an asshole.
So here's what it's like if you are a non-artist type trying to hang out in a scene. You want to be there, because you like the music or art or whatever and find it at least mildly exciting to be around the people in that scene. You're into whatever the bands are doing but really don't want to be in the "fan" category. (Is there anything more embarrassing than being a real fan?) You're stuck in this weird in-between place because you secretly suspect that no one really cares about your presence because you can't help their band in any way nor can you really commiserate/collaborate with them. If you are the lady friend of one of the people in these scenes, it's even worse because chances are nobody new will talk to you (or at least none of the dudes, who most likely make up 3/4 of the people in the room).
It's good to hear that some scene people think there are interesting things about "regular" people and it's really disarmingly obvious when you meet these people out at events because they actually talk to you and are just generally nice, happy people. It's unfortunately more common to meet band people/artists who give off the vibe that they don't think there's anything to gain from a conversation from someone outside their scene.
Thanks for the thoughtful response. I should point out that I wrote this on the way out the door to see Taking Back Sunday at the Museum of Fine Arts.
"Most creative types whether consciously or not look a little askew at people whom they perceive as not striving for something a bit bigger out of life."
And people wonder why everyone hates hipsters so much.
I loathe when people refer to others who don't fall into one's restricted social schema as "norms."
I prefer to call them civilians.
lamestreamers
One of the most read posts we've had on here in a long time, not sure why the comments are so hard to come by here. Maybe everyone is a scenester and is too busy doing some heavy soul searching. Maybe it's just tldr
I am late to the party, but nice work! I may or may not be #4. No one really knows.
1) I treat them all the same - like shit.
2) I hate people.
3) Thanks for Ivy Snow!
Hah. The one time I ever hung out with scenesters aka Passion Pit & coterie everyone treated me like shit and I was only invited because the fat one wanted to bone me.
Yeah but you could've boned someone from Passion Pit! That's reward enough.
Oh yeah, Ivy Snow. She's good at her job, no question. /nohetero
This article might particularly interesting to someone who came to [city] from [another city] as a total nobody, eventually joined [a band] which became successful/popular and quickly went from "nobody" to "somebody people in 'the scene' really wanted to talk to" for a few years. When the momentum of [a band] started winding down, and they got a desk job, they reverted back to "nobody."
I don't know who that person would be, but I'd bet they would feel that way about the article.
That sounds like all of my friends.
Ive spent my time amongst hipsters. Got to admit, it was fun while it lasted, for certain reasons:
1.) a free place to get drunk and bug out just because you know someone who knows someone.
2.) something to do over the weekend
3.) new experiences, you learn new things
4.) crazy stories to tell.
5.) I actually met one or two pretty "normal" people.
As quick as it came, it went. I realized I could drink at home with my close friends and listen to music without having to worry about police being called, my stuff getting stolen, what the hell that sticky shit was, or who some person thinks they're talking to.
Don't add me on Facebook so you can promote yourself and whatever whack party you're hosting. I know you think it's cool but most people there are just trying to be cool too.
If you're only interested in talking to me because you're trying to better your image, I take that as you have no image.
I think everyone has that one friend who has their head dangerously close to the scenes ass. This would be the one who always invites you to clubs and parties because they don't want to go alone. They talk about the people going as if they hang out allthe time, however, they fail to realize that if youre afraid of not knowing anyone then you don't know anyone and there isn't anyone who knows you. If you know a persons name, occupation, and who they associate with but that person couldnt pick you out of a duo then you are a tool.
Mrs. Bee suit got it right.
And if you're not down with that, I got two words for ya!
http://www.viceland.com/int/dd.php?id=1542
this is sorta what you're talking about
@greg, har. I dunno, I'm not intimidated by those type of people anymore, if I ever was. Or anyone really, unless they have something I want and I need to do something weird to access it. Like a hypothetical vagina and/or a penis, although that's not in the cards for me vis a via getting married. I'm also not trying to "make it" in a band anymore, so who the fuck cares.
If the president of the Bloggers Society of America wanted to chill out and have beers and talk about really making PTSOTL live up to its "potential" as a buzz blog, then sure, I'd eat his shit a little bit.
Wait, I guess all my editors intimidate me, but that's probably because they pay for daddy's heating bill and Triscuits supply.
@anonymous: you are pretty spot on. I appreciate your perspective. What are the two words though?
Just I can say that the girl with some tattoos is really sexy, she is like my girlfriend, a hot girl !!
Excellent stuff from you, man I’ve read your things before and you are just too awesome.
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