Dunkin Donuts is a veritable treasure trove for a "list" blogger. We've already covered the people getting milkshakes and pretending they're coffees and we've probably already covered the idea of eating donuts(if we haven't, we should.)
Anyway, I go to the Dunky D's the other day for an iced coffee and a bagel on the way to work (on a Saturday -- speaking of the list), when two events take place that make me Jesus to turn my hands into hammers so I can smash everything in sight.
First: two dudes discussing this Obammer v. the Cambridge Police thing. Dude A says the Big O was wrong to douche on the cops. Fair enough. Sensing another possible racist in his presence, Dude B puts it on the line: "the only thing I've seen since he got elected is more taxes and more blacks." Aside from that dickhead's taxes actually going down, what does that second bit even mean? Whatever. I was in Dunky's, and this is the price you pay for bro-ing down with the common man, is it not?
Second: a dude strolls in in his saturday best(jean shorts and a tank-top) orders an iced coffee and asks for a styrofoam cup to put the plastic cup in. Thanks, bro. Think you can just dump your garbage in front of the store and idle your enormous truck for a few minutes? Maybe club a baby seal on the way out the door in case you haven't destroyed the Earth enough for the day? Wouldn't want your precious hand to get wet from that ice sweat though. Hey did you know back when I was a kid, they didn't even have cupholders that would hold drinks that big? Yeah, weird one, right?
There you have it. There's your average hockey mom or Joe the Plumber just gettin' 'er done for the American Dream at a Dunky's near you. Should've stuck to Starbucks, which despite what you're thinking, is NOT on the list.
Anyway, I go to the Dunky D's the other day for an iced coffee and a bagel on the way to work (on a Saturday -- speaking of the list), when two events take place that make me Jesus to turn my hands into hammers so I can smash everything in sight.
First: two dudes discussing this Obammer v. the Cambridge Police thing. Dude A says the Big O was wrong to douche on the cops. Fair enough. Sensing another possible racist in his presence, Dude B puts it on the line: "the only thing I've seen since he got elected is more taxes and more blacks." Aside from that dickhead's taxes actually going down, what does that second bit even mean? Whatever. I was in Dunky's, and this is the price you pay for bro-ing down with the common man, is it not?
Second: a dude strolls in in his saturday best(jean shorts and a tank-top) orders an iced coffee and asks for a styrofoam cup to put the plastic cup in. Thanks, bro. Think you can just dump your garbage in front of the store and idle your enormous truck for a few minutes? Maybe club a baby seal on the way out the door in case you haven't destroyed the Earth enough for the day? Wouldn't want your precious hand to get wet from that ice sweat though. Hey did you know back when I was a kid, they didn't even have cupholders that would hold drinks that big? Yeah, weird one, right?
There you have it. There's your average hockey mom or Joe the Plumber just gettin' 'er done for the American Dream at a Dunky's near you. Should've stuck to Starbucks, which despite what you're thinking, is NOT on the list.
brought to you by
13 comments:
no one hates the common, salt of the earth, working man more than our kid here.
if he really hated the common man he would not be going to dunkys. donuts are on the list HARDCORE. i love cake that sits in the pit of my stomach for days on end. LOVE IT. repulsive jelly inside a gooey sugar laden mess? sure, sign me up. nasty cream on top of some dough? YES PLEASE I LOVE DIABETES.
krullers though. tough to beat.
Iced coffee in a styrofoam cup: the most list-worthy thing imaginable.
How about the 250 lb fat broads that are out "walking" in fitness garb and nursing an XL Dunkies Iced that's got so much cream in it that it's white? No water for these broads.
love those broads.
11 sugars in mine, please.
Seriously, though, as soon as Obama was elected, it's like all the blacks came over from Blackton and took over the place. Go back to where you came from!
I think I pissed in my dirty clothes hamper the other night. Where does that fall vis a vis the List?
irrelevant to The List's raison d'etre. pissing in your dirty clothes hamper while drinking a Coolatta? On The List.
Coolatas used to be off the List, but now I'm not so sure.
coolatas are the very bedrock of the list.
The Globe is clearly reading The List - http://www.boston.com/business/technology/innoeco/2009/09/does_america_really_need_to_ru.html.
Post a Comment