Here's another slice of finely tuned hate snatched from the bro-jaws of our blog bro -- bro-nan I guess you'd say -- Bronan the Barbarian. (TRIGGER WARNING FOR BODY SNARKING AND FATISM YOU BIG SENSITIVE PUSSIES).
I’ve often debated that the future of the human race consists of a combination of and Wall-E. Now you too can have the best of both dystopian futures with a brand-new product – Forever Lazy! Take a gander at this advertising gem ABOVE. Forever Lazy fulfills every adult’s innermost desire, which is to horribly embarrass the shit out of friends and family by wearing fuzzy toddler’s clothing in public venues.
Forever Lazy comes in three convenient sizes.
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Green Bay Packers Fan (M)
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GUNT (XL) |
Can Forever Lazy get any better? You bet your ass it can! Forever Lazy comes complete with a zip-down crotch flap so you can take a drunken shit in your neighbor’s bushes without actually removing your clothing.
Wow. As an American citizen, I’ve seen some god-awful clothing. However, this item takes the grand prize for the All-Time-What-The-Fuck Fashion Abomination. Forever Lazy? More like “forever alone,” because there’s no way in hell you’re scoring any action while covered in Doritos dust and cocooned inside one of these ugly bastards.
--BRONAN THE BARBARIAN
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4 comments:
Those look kind of comfortable to me.
I think once I finally let it all go any day now I could see myself in one of these, riding it out as the clock winds down.
IVE BEEN ALERTED THAT THESE THINGS DON'T EVEN HAVE FEETSIES. FUCK IT WHAT'S THE POINT OF THAT?
I think these things are actually a good idea. The global population is spiralling out of control - we need (as a race) to fuck less - so these suits could act as a kind of marker for people who've decided to simply slip out of the gene pool. They simultaneously signal "I'm not interested in having sex with anyone because I'm dressed as a giant baby" and "no-one is interested in having sex with me because I'm dressed as a giant baby".
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