I know that we're all legally obligated now to film our children and pets in embarrassing situations and post it to YouTube for the lulz, but I didn't realize that same statute applied to life-threatening scenarios as well. Like in this video, which according to some miracle of happenstance isn't actually titled LOL MY CAT GOT ATE UP BY A ALLIGATERZ. (io9 via the DailyWhat) and is the most tense internet standoff I've seen take place outside a fast food restaurant in months.
More like alli-gay-tor here though, rite? Who's the actual pussy in this old fashioned chicken meat standoff? I know cats are evil and everything, and they secrete black magic with their fur and are good at shitting in a box in your kitchen, but alligators are science-fictional space dinosaurs from the moon, seems like they would have the upper hand here. Turns out this isn't even the first time a cat has stared down an omnivorous man-eating mutant lizard to the uproarious delight of onlookers (For real, what's so funny about this shit? No one laughs when people fall into the polar bear pit).
Here's another cat teaching nature who the king bitch in the swamp is:
Meanwhile, this cat here somehow barely manages to fend off a couple chickens, in a disagreement that many of us will recognize as the source of many of nature's most fervert inter-species and inter-religion conflicts, sweet, sweet pork.
wherein a chicken kicks the shit out of a cat. . So if we use the transitive property of bad-assery here, which is one of my favorite properties, we can take all of this to mean a chicken can intimidate an alligator. NOTHING I KNOW ABOUT NATURE MAKES SENSE ANYMORE. Unless, of course, the chicken is already chopped up into meat and placed in front of the beasts' mouth. Especially if that beast is me.
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4 comments:
I would have punted that thing into the alligtor's teeth. Fuck a cat.
I am allergic to cats, which is really fucking lame, but also true, even if Michelle still doesn't believe me after all these years.
I have been to that place outside of New Orleans and I met that cat, Mugsy. He was pretty cool. Now, I have to "Cool story, bro" myself.
Ha, wait which one? That cat is, like, a known celebrity down there or something? Still though, cool story. Bro.
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