Monday, December 20, 2010

Actually, fuck it, this is the real meaning of CHRIST-MAS



Because making fun of Christians is the bold move this year. 

An astute List reader has just opened my eyes to the realer, truer, purer meaning of Christmas, so never mind what I said about those Mohammedan ballers and their tree of power below. Like Ebeneezer Scrooge and George Bailey and Charlie Brown and all of the other heroes of seasonal affective disorder, and morality-based epiphany, my eyes have been opened, and not just because they've got glare sores all over them now from looking at this mess. You there boy, fetch me a Christmas ham, I'm going to need the Lord's sustenance to finish what I usually like to think of as the Lord's blog posting.  Find out what American Jesus really believes in after the thing. 





NEW! The Christian Nation, CHRIST-mas Tree (Display all year around)

LIMITED SUPPLY - Order your CHRIST-mas Tree today! Beautiful Christmas tree that we are sure all patriots will love! Celebrate Christmas American style by showing that Americans do love Jesus and YES, we are a Christian nation! It's not just a tree, it's a movement! Cultivate a new tradition, display all year long for all to see as a symbol and reminder of our Christian nation heritage! 7 1/2 ft. fir style branches, clear cross illuminated from within with white color lighting and red, white and blue color branches. Branches and cross made from high quality pvc. Metal stand.

The best part? It's only $399.99. You can't put a price on freedom though, can you? Actually, you can. It costs $399.99 is what freedom costs, and you can buy it here, although I think that site just crashed my Firefox browser jsyk. Then again a stiff breeze makes Firefox crash.

Also available is this little number, which isn't at all creepy.

Kind of makes bringing a camel to your Christmas-mass seem like a bush league move when you can just put one of these guys up in your own personal house of worship doesn't it?


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4 comments:

melissa laplante said...

I wonder if they have table top ones...

said...

I sure hope so. I'll find out when my my first order goes through.

Mint E. Fresh said...

don't you mean a price on TREEDOM luke o'neil

said...

I can put a price on TREEDOM. Depends on what kind of tree you're in the market for.

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