"Brett Favre, when he was Jenn Sterger's age, NFL draft day 1918.

Our old buddy D. Jean Mustard checks in with this bullshit that's on the minds of sports fans this week, especially the ones who've been forced to think way too much about a 40 year old man's gray dick this football season. 


The NFL made it clear what kind of message they were sending this week when it came to dealing with the Brett Favre/Jenn Sterger case, and that message is, man, Brett Favre is awesome! Perhaps they were just staying on brand with what literally every television announcer smashes you over the face with anytime Brett Favre is on a teevee screen. Just not sure. For those who don't follow sports (broads, intellectual types), Brett Favre decided to un-retire for 3rd or 4th time back in 2008 and was signed by the NY Jets. The NY Jets had a pretty lady who appeared on television for them. Brett Favre, tried to woo this pretty lady by sending her unwanted shots of his penis via text message. He also left her some voicemails. Surprisingly, the pretty lady didn't want to bone a dude who was old enough to be her dad. She also didn't report him, but eventually word got out when the website Deadspin got a hold of the pictures and then all of America saw America's QB masturbating in a pair of plastic shoes, forcing the NFL to investigate.  


What happened next + boobz after the thing:

Upon the investigation, the NFL fined Brett Favre $50,000 for not cooperating in the investigation. By comparison, he makes $1 million per game. That'd be like Luke fining me .0001 cents for all the typos in this post. When Patriots coach Bill Belichick was caught illegally taping defensive signals, he was fined $500,000. The Patriots were fined $250,000. Sexual harrasment though, that's 1/10th the offense of ILLEGALY CHEATING BELICHEAT 18-1* CHEATRIOTS!!!! 



So, young athletes of the world, here is the message: make the teevee announcers love you and when you see a woman who looks up for it, have your assistant get her number from the team staff database and then send her some photos of you masturbating, but remember take off your Crocs or crop them out of the photo. Oh and put aside .05% of your weekly pay in case the NFL gets a whiff. But most importantly, just be a guy who loves to go out there and sling it.

brought to you by