punk kids won't listen |
Come on, news reports and websites I steal ideas from, does the gentle-man pictured above really look like the type to get angry enough to punch a teenager for not turning off his iPhone on a plane? Why yes, he looks exactly like that as a matter of fact. Actually, you're right. Thank you. Don't mention it.
So let's say the chief of police called me down to the station, to, I dunno, give the boys some pointers on how to fight crime and whip their abs into shape on a tight schedule, then the sketch artist pulled me aside for help on the composite he was working on in the case of a grumpy old man versus the world, it would probably look something like this:
Because that's just kind of bad ass. You can't really argue with flames on a hockey mask made of human skin and black holes for eyes. After that we'd go down to the local cop bar and drink Irish whiskey until we puked and end up Irish wrestling around on the ground for a while, but out of Irish friendship, you see? Cause we've got Irish history and we've been through a lot together. After all of that I'd probably talk him through a perp sketch that looked 100% like that old dude up there. Then we'd solve the case and I'd probably go home and bang my reluctantly loyal Irish wife. I'm sort of losing track of the point of this post, but if you'll follow me over there, I think we'll get to the bottom of it.
So what happened again? Explain it slowly, random radio news station website:
BOISE, Idaho - Police were ready and waiting at the Boise Airport to arrest a 68-year-old Treasure Valley man Tuesday night when his flight arrived from Las Vegas.
Passengers and the flight crew told police that during the Southwest, Russell Miller punched a 15-year-old teenager after he refused to turn off his iPhone. via, via
*Puts on old-timey British magistrate's wig* So you're telling me some bad ass old dude knocked some sense into a punk kid fucking around on his computer box when he wasn't supposed to? And you want to call that a crime? Nay, sirs, this man is a hero. Also, it's now legal to go pantless at work. DISMISSED.
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2 comments:
http://www.oddee.com/item_96832.aspx
12 Most Bizarre Police Sketches Ever
Hoo boy. Thanks for that.
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