I lead a pretty easy life via sitting in front of the computer on my living room floor all day, but that doesn't mean I still don't find a few dozen things an hour that make me want to go do a sailor dive off my back porch, like deleting one after another of the world's most insignificant press releases from my email all day in a never ending deluge of nothingness. Have you ever tried to do that without getting any of it on you?

Just when I was starting to climb out of the hole today, via remembering to go watch four times in a row, I read this story below. It was like when you've been through a horrific journey deep inside a mutant rat man's cave lair, and you've watched all your friends  get devoured by his ravenous cave rat man babies, but somehow you fight your way back to the surface, and you see the light of the day in the distance through a cave tunnel thing which has like an old ladder in it for some reason, and you're climbing up, and you think you're going to make it, but the mutant cave rat man's mutant cave rat wife jumps out of nowhere and drags you back down the hole where she's probably going to eat your non mutant person face off or make your her new cave rat man husband. And then it was all a dream and you were really the mutant rat man the whole time. Or were you? 

Thanks a lot, Boston Herald.

A cemetery foreman in Billerica, Mass., is being fined $400 for selling cemetery plots to his parents ahead of a scheduled price increase.

The state Ethics Commission found Joseph Turner violated the conflict of interest law by selling the four plots to his parents at $1,560, saving them $440.

The commission said town policy restricts the sale of plots based on immediate need.

State law bars a municipal employee from knowingly participating in a matter in which an immediate family member has a financial interest...

Couple things to go OTL here:


The fact that this is a news story. 
The news in general.
The town of Billerica.
Towns in general.
The fact that we don't spell Towne with the e at the end anymore. 
Municipal employees.


But most of all: 


Trying to save your parents $440 on the apartment their bones are going to live in because it's too expensive to die.

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