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| photos via Splash News Online |
As you'll know if you've been reading this blog for a while, or reading the blog that comes out of my mouth IRL whenever I talk in the fall and winter, there are only a few things in the world I care about vis a vis a meaningful life experience. The first is the New England Patriots. The second is Tom Brady playing for the New England Patriots. The rest of them are, like, Wes Welker and various other New England Patriots. After a few empty spots on the list (just in case) eventually I get around to family and friends, and, of course, my deep abiding faith in god in country. But primarily all that matters is how any of those things influence the success of the New England Patriots.
For those of you that don't follow football, first of all, that's weird. But even aimless souls like yourselves still probably know who Tom Brady is.
Because we're giant, spoiled babies in New England, and the Patriots haven't gone to the Super Bowl in something like four entire years, and because sports fans are all misogynist homophobes, we credit every swishing, fashionable thing our super model husband quarterback does with his wife Giselle for making the team suck ass. (Best record in the regular season last year, but still).
Like this photo up here of our man squealing with glee as he rushes down a waterslide that must be all of fifteen feet long. Good god man. There had better be something pretty exciting waiting for you down at the end of that slide.
Alright. Fair enough.
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14 comments:
Danny Fahkin Woodhead wouldn't be prancing down no wateslide like that, tell you what.
I love that Tommy from Quincy bit. Still fresh.
You're right though, he wouldn't. WOODHEAD RULES!
He is welkerizing the waterslide game.
Lulz. Welker would have gone down that slide with a lot more grit.
surprisingly good point from barstool:
So yesterday Tom Brady took the internet by storm with his waterslide antics. That was all fun and games and we got a good laugh out of it. But today we find out he shaves his armpits. Yikes. This is a gross violation of man code in my book. Shave your pubes yes. Your armpit or chest hair never. Like maybe I could understand if this was me fucking Gisele and she told me the only way I get pussy is if I’m clean shaven. Then maybe I can understand it. But this is Tom Brady we’re talking about. Dude doesn’t have to shower or shave for a month and every chick in Boston would still let him take a dump on their face. So what gives? I know I nothing he does should surprise me anymore, but this did. I just don’t know how you win a superbowl with a guy who shaves his armpits. I know that sounds simple and dumb but I’m also pretty sure it’s true.
Toucher and Rich hit the nail on the head today when they said that Brady's doing everything on the back of a box of super absorbent tampons. "Look, you can swim, dance, wear white pants and even slide down a water slide all without having to worry about your darn period".
Those guys make me laugh when I listen, but meh, not feeling that one. The other day they were doing a bit on sitcom dads, and how stupid hollywood makes men out to be, that killed me. Was LOLing in the car.
Wasn't so much funny as it was truth.
He's doing it on purpose. Each thing he does infuriates PatsNation more and I laugh each time.
HE IS NOT ONE OF US
wow...just wow. I guess as long as he keeps winning games? My entire family shuts down talk of anything besides the Patriots during football season. Can you believe my love for the Patriots (and football in general) was actually started in High School with our unfortunate football team? I loved the game, even if we didn't win.
I blame myself for all those losses. If only I had tried harder.
Ha! :)
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