Lady Gaga has announced the title of her new album in the most shocking way possible: with a tattoo. Check out this bit here on Bullett for more details. Got to say, all things considered this is a lot better than her previously announced working title: Calvin and Hobbes in New York Knicks Jerseys Pissing on Osama Bin Laden’s Face....
A lot of stuff happened over the weekend while you were definitely not surreptitiously checking your phone every ten minutes when the s.o. went inside from the pool/fell asleep at the beach/droned on and on over dinner about that one guy at work that really gets her goat, so here’s a quick recap of important birthdays, the Olympics, and Natalie Portman's wedding.
Bolt streaks to gold
Speaking of bad puns, Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt won the gold medal in the 100 meters at the Olympics in front of an estimated viewing audience of two billion people, nearly all of which must have been on Twitter, causing it to slow down dreadfully while I was desperate to get out a above. “The thunderbolt strikes again” trumpeted the Evening Standard. “Lightning Bolt strikes gold” riffed the Daily Mail. “Oh right, because of his name,” I said like five minutes after staring at those headlines. Also streaking for gold? This lady....
The nation was thrilled last week as Gabby Douglas won the all around gymnastics gold at the Olympics, becoming the first African American to do so. Everyone except for the professional concern trolls at Fox News, that is, who made like Tea Party Tim Gunns and decided Douglas’ costume wasn’t American enough...read the rest of this amazing joke that i worked really hard on here.
brought to you by
2 comments:
It seems like people talk about the olympics more some years than others. This is one of those years. Or is it? I don't know actually. Yes I do. It is. Or is it?
We're on the internet a lot harder.
Post a Comment