Our man Bob Foster has a new thing. It is known.
Hi America!
We used to do a thing called Platform but now we’re doing a thing called Leisure. There’s a few reasons why we’re doing something new, one of them’s to do with how our other little projects Boiler Room and ISYS are doing their own thing, and it seemed weird that we hadn’t given the photos, writing and jokes about rap videos a separate place to be too. So, we’re doing that. Platform will still be a thing, but I guess we’re looking at is as a launchpad for stuff, not the central thing.
Here’s five great reasons why you Americans should hang out on our new website, or at least til it launches on Monday.
You can see hot girls from London
Say what you like about our teeth (mine are terrible) but our capital city (especially the arty areas) is full of rich humanities students who love to get in photos that go on the internet. New York’s fine for this as well, but aren’t you getting bored of sites like Street Carnage with a monthly photo of Chloe Sevigny looking progressively more conservative? In London Alice Dellal is in her ‘hot mess’ prime and Daisy Lowe is still puppy fat chubs and doesn’t mind taking her clothes off.
You get to see inside the mind of English wiggers
Imagine privately educated English people in their late 20s calling each other ‘doggie’. It doesn’t work with our accents even slightly, but we do it anyway because we’re comfortable with who we are. Also, we let our pants sag, but we call them trousers, and we have all these euro sneakers you’ve never seen, except we call them trainers. We’re fascinating to observe.
You can learn about English pop culture
In England, if you don’t have cable (we just call it Sky generically, like we call vacuum cleaners Hoovers, we’re quaint like that) you can only get five channels, so we’re all bonded together by a very small range of viewing options. You’ll hear about our humorless, right wing version of Jerry Springer, Jeremy Kyle, you might see some references to our shoddy weekly police show, The Bill, or you might learn about how our children’s tv presenters are always spotted in sex dungeons or found dead hanging from the rafters of Victoria Station.
You’ll get into grime
It’s been around since forever, but none of you folks ‘across the pond’ have bothered buying any of it, and your attempts at it are laughable, but it’s the most fun ever. It’s a world of hatchbacks, cheaply produced music videos, converting replica guns into real ones, black tracksuits and jackets at the height of summer, skunk psychosis, postcodes and shotting coke to students, and it’s just…swell.
Our two great nations can learn from each other
We had ecstasy ten years before you and we never called it anything as corny as X, but we haven’t worked out how to make pancakes properly and our joints have tobacco in them for no good reason. You don’t use a public holiday/football match/child’s birthday as an excuse to drink til you puke, [Editor's note: take that back, we so do.] but we don’t go red in the face with rage when a foreigner says something about our army. We have washing machines in all our homes, but you have real pizzas and are friendly to strangers. Potato potarto, I suppose.
Here’s to the beginning of a new ‘special relationship’.
--ROBERT FOSTER
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2 comments:
The best part about Platform, aside from everything on there being fucking awesome, was that i didnt have to check any other sites for any media ever. it was all there on one page, one well-designed page at that. now i have to check your three separate sites, separately! thats two more pages than necessary!! what the hell dudes
also what did you do with all those mixtapes? cos i lived off that shit
Not sure what the deal is, but I'll forward along to Bob.
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