|
That's racist
One of the best parts about living with an elementary school teacher, OK maybe best isn't the right word, one of the parts of living with an elementary school teacher, is that I get to hear all the stuff I didn't pay attention to when I was that age all over again by having to listen to the lesson plans and homework all the time. Most of you probably don't realize this, (aside from the distressing number of people who find this blog via searching for key words in the post I wrote about Cap'n Crunch "Stabbing little kids mouths, just fucking up their mouths"), but elementary schools video the kids reading stories on flip cams now and make iMovie clips and post them to elementary school blogs that you need elementary school passwords to look at. Weird, right? I only mention that because this one lesson I heard a nice little boy reading aloud just jumped out at me right now.
"The Five Chinese Brothers was written by Claire Huchet Bishop in 1938," he said. "The story begins, 'Once upon a time, there were five Chinese brothers, and they all looked exactly alike.'"
Woh. Woh. Hold on now.
Get me. I'm a real writer.
Couple pieces in the Wall Street Journal this weekend. That's not really a joke I guess. Unless you consider the fact that I'm actually a real reporter a joke, which is probably a reasonable reaction. Want an Internet that doesn't know your pant size? A guide to regain your privacy ;
Happy Father's Day. You throw like a girl
I was just out back on my bird porch talking to my bird friend again and I saw the sweetest thing in the world going on in the yard next door. An older fellow was tossing a ball around with his granddaughter, giving her some pointers on how to throw, sharing life lessons, having a genuine bonding moment vis a vis shared heartfelt experiences, and cursing the cruel twist of ovarian fate that deprived him of the opportunity to do the same with a penis-haver. (Probably.) It was cute.
#reallybafathersdaygifts
|
Tried, (and failed) to get this bit going today. On account of...what's the term? crippling insecurity that motivates a person to seek validation from strangers on the internet? I think that's what it's called. No takers. Maybe the exclamation point made me seem needy? This next one will kill, I thought...
XXXL t-shirt
Haha, good one Luke. Then I saw this picture of the dad of the year over here, and it kind of spoiled it.
Even babies like my man here know that shit is done-zo by now.
brought to you by
No comments:
Post a Comment