In other ornithological* news, apparently I'm a farmer now, because I have a real bird for an alarm clock. This little fellow has been crashing on my back porch lately. "Just until I can find my own place in the city," he said, although dude has been telling me that for weeks. What's that old saying about fish and house guests and birds who shoot the shit right next to your bedroom all fucking morning? Ass, gas, or grass, and guess what, birds don't know what gas or grass is, and we're fresh out of ass-kickings.
Kind of lost control of that sentence there, but you know what I mean.
You can't see it in this photo, but there's a cat in the window across the way who is imagining a giant cartoon bottle of ketchup pouring over this dude's head. On the other side of the porch there is a bee's nest that the bird is eye-balling like he's got a drowning boner in his mouth and that shit is a life raft vagina. I drank too much gin last night.
The circle of life.
*That's a word I know because the one single science course I took in college was Ornithology. That probably explains a lot. Like the fact that I drive a Toyota Corolla.
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6 comments:
Get a BB gun and cap his inconsiderate ass. Chatty little shit. There's nothing worse than the fucking mourning doves belting out their bullshit when I have a hangover. Those dicks must be gargling with steroids.
Pro tip indeed, but I have a feeling I would end up shooting my neighbor in the face and/or my thumb off.
still laughing at the *
Sometimes you may have a bird nest in an unwanted place. If the bird nest is active, you cannot legally move it due to the Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918 (see References). This means you will have to wait for the birds to migrate from the nest, which can take from four to six weeks. You need to use caution when removing the nest, as you don't know if any dead birds or bacteria are present. It's best to also contact your local bird society for any tips or help with removing the bird nest. For example, you can contact the National Audubon Society, an organization that is dedicated to conservancy to protect birds and the environment (see References). To find other bird societies around the world, visit the Birds and More website (see Resources).
Read more: How to Remove Bird Nests | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_5164740_remove-bird-nests.html#ixzz1PlYpX4lD
if ben franklin had a blog, it would probably be ptsotl
Ben Franklin was a fucking bad ass.
I just looked at that link. "you cannot legally move it due to the Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918" WTF?
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