We're not patient with our musicians anymore. Here's how "checking out new music" works now. We pull up the YouTube vid some "guy who links to videos" in his Facebook feed posts, forward ahead 30 seconds to where you assume the hook will be, then blast the page shut with a karate chop to the [x] when it doesn't twist your wig sideways within 15 seconds. That musician is then dead to you forever and you ignore all further developments in their career until they end up on a commercial or satellite channel you're tricked into listening to for hours at a time (via the gym/work) and go back and remember how you liked them this whole time.
In order to battle this depressing modern reality, a savvy musician has to cover all their bases in as short a time frame as possible. That doesn't just mean breezing through one or two genres between songs on an album, which they haven't put out yet, because what the fuck is an album anyway? It means loading 17 different styles into one song like a clown car , then toggling back and forth between them on some CNTL/TAB shit.
The result is something like Azealia Banks, aka the next girl who's packing the internet's shit in with her hyphie steez. I'm not even going to do the genre checklist thing, because this is just how music works now, it's everything at the same time, but if you made me I guess I'd say it's a pretty good example of the venerable old genre "black hipster chicks who bloggers stack piles of buzzy jizz socks for in the corner of their taste apartment." Or maybe it's just M.I.A. version 4.0?
Either way "212" is the song that's going to bring the hurt. At the very least it's the catchiest song to feature the word "cunt" so many times that I can think of, although that's a short list, admittedly. This is not to be confused, by the way, with the other post-modern Internet-core quirky hip hop chick who sings about vaginas, Iggy Azalea.
As if the dancehall swag, Mickey Mouse sweater, short shorts and pigtails, janky beat, and that amazing untraceable accent and unique flow weren't enough to have you sign over your indie-dude buzz mortgage into this broad's name, she even went and did an against-all-odds pretty great cover of an Interpol song. Not fair. Anyway, enjoy being famous for the next year or so Azealia. You earned it.
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11 comments:
Kind of sounds like US3 had a baby with "Rudebox" by Robbie Williams
I don't know what either of those things are but I trust you.
biddy biddy bop
Rest assured that any decency found in 212 will be quickly rendered moot as she enters the corporate music grinder.
Yeah but who cares because we'll have all moved on by then via Kreayshawn.
Die Antwoord
You should have said:
"a savvy musician has to cover all their basses"
Probably went to Emerson of something.
I See what you did there. I didn't for a minute and went to go see if I made a typo. But I do now.
this shizzle got played out before the song ended
GTFO with that talk you mick. Woh, what's going on with the comments here? All spaced out?
I'm still reeling that someone covered Interpol.
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