I went to the UK last week. Spent a few days in Scotland touring some whiskey distilleries, which was pretty informative and whatever. Mostly I learned about how fucking cold and wet it is in Scotland, which is something I should've planned for better since those are like numbers three and four on the list of things that people from America know about Scotland after drinking and stabbing people with broken bottles. I also learned a lot about desolate looking, beautiful landscapes, because apparently I'm a 9th grader in art class with my first digital camera now. Fair warning, this is probably one of the most boring posts I've ever done.
Up in this part of Scotland where all the whiskey comes from it's all these cramped, Medieval looking streets with cute stone homes pushed right up against the roads, but there are armies of giant trucks squeezing through all the time, en route to bring mash and what not to the distilleries, or else ship the product back out once it's done. This means you can get traffic in a town of like four people. Also there are fucking tractors going like 13 down the road. I'm not sure what 13 translates into in American. Surprisingly, the numbers stuff really threw me off. Especially when I was trying to figure out how to use the shower/not spend ten million dollars in one week. Woops.
This is basically what Scotland looks like in Americans' minds, but also what it actually looks like in an American's camera mind.
Oh right, we also think about Braveheart. That's a thing.
Not sure why I was so impressed with the rural beauty here. Maybe because I live in a congested shithole of a state. We have farms too I suppose, but, you know, who has the time go look at them, what with TV and things.
This spring is like the magic source of a bunch of whiskeys. Looks kind of nice.
Except, woops, they've got it dressed up like a French hoo-er for tourist fucks like me.
Here's a picture of an Asian guy taking a picture of stuff. That's racist. I learned the greatest lesson of all here though, because when I asked homeboy to take a couple shots of me all I got back were pictures of his thumb. Don't judge, is what I took away from it.
Went to a couple of "experimental" dinner type things. This one was crazy because it's soup, but instead of being in a bowl it's in a whole other type of thing.
For this course I learned about what it's like to be annoyed that they won't give you silverwear and you have to stab the meat with a pointy stick. That's also how I learned about the birds and the bees come to think of it.
Does this mask designed to get me to experience things with my senses more make me look like a guy who isn't buying this bullshit?
View from the hotel room. Gorgeous place. Cold as balls, but gorgeous all the same.
This stuff in these giant tubs is called the wash. At this point whiskey is basically beer. It smells like a cereal box cartoon just took a huge dump. Drink up!
Here are the stills, where the alcohol is burned off and bla bla bla where' the bar again?
The angel's share is what they call the 10% of whiskey that evaporates while it's aging in barrels. Angles are drunks, but that's because they're Catholic usuall.
Visual art is like regular art only you have to get up off your ass and do something with it or it gets made at you. It's like the girlfriend of art mediums.
Things that you drink come out of this room. Also most of my nightmares.
Hard to tell but there are rolls hanging from balloons in here. I ate those rolls.
Because you don't normally get food out of a syringe, unless you call heroin food.
Wasn't sure if I was supposed to eat this or bludgeon my table neighbor with it. So I did neither.
Couldn't get anyone to confirm whether or not elves and trolls lived out there, but my gut told me yes.
Aberdeen is a great place to smoke outside and freeze your tits off and that just about covers it.
Paddington Station in London. It's so cute how they have their own things over there just like we do. Trains and stuff. Like a whole other city.
That's kind of rude, but ok. England for the English I guess.
Really weird how people just basically hang out on the sidewalks of bars here in London, with their bottles of wine and shit. Also, there's no seats at actual bars. Wtf?
This business is everywhere in London. Creepy. Who's watching who now sign?
Love how they're such a bigger thing over there.
Here's our Bob Foster out of Platform/Leisure. Good man. Had a few laughs and a few pints.
In summary, London is basically Bizarro NYC. I'm glad they know it.
Woh, how's this photo get sucked in here? Weird. Anyway, hospitals are creepy.
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11 comments:
Actually a great post.
Not to be a dick, but Scotch is spelled 'whisky' with no 'e'.
They are quite particular about it, being Prods and all.
Irish and others use the 'e'.
You know what, youre right, I learned that. It just doesn't look right to me and editing it seems like a whole thing.
yeah, I know I'm right.
It's a particular type of cold, up there.
Like your skeleton has been plumbed with cold water pipes that force any heat from your body.
Great pubs though.
I can't wait to go back.
American Camera Mind. Go.
American Camera Obscure were pretty great.
I think Bob could've shown you a better time than that.
All the fun stuff happened after I put the camera down for the night.
angel's share is a bar in NEW YORK CITY. full circle, bro (also: good story, brah).
BIRD OF IT
It's almost as good as a Guy Ritchie film. Nicely done, laddie.
We had a good time. bros4lyf etc etc
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