Not sure how we all fell for that Groupon thing for a minute there, and by we I mean you, because I never went near one. There are a few reasons for that, but the most important one is that I am not a cheap cunt. Also because coupons are tacky as shit and you should all be embarrassed for pretending this was anything different than clipping 25 cents off dish detergent inserts out of the local Shopper circular, except you were using it for a $25 plate of scallops.
The Groupon sales' teams mafioso style protection racket pitches that squeezed local businesses into offering their services for a price they couldn't afford didn't help matters either. It's all part of the larger trend of the internet tricking everyone into thinking nothing has a real value. Music? Free. Movies? Free. Food and services from your local businesses? Well, not free, but fuck you anyway, where's my discount? After all I clicked on a thing, then dragged my ass all the way to your store. That has to count for something, right?
I asked my man Joe Grafton from Somerville Local First, a bunch of hippies cool group dedicated to promoting local businesses, what his beef was with Groupon. He's been predicting Groupon's demise for a while.
"In short: aggressive and disingenuous sales tactics, the exploitation of local businesses value proposition to their customers, the continued 'deal' culture that puts downward pressure on prices and margins for local businesses, and the general huge win for Groupon and questionable win at best for their business customers."
Hold on a second on that win idea though. As this CNN story points out:
Shares sank 14% early Wednesday, falling several dollars below the $20 asking price of the coupon site's initial public offering earlier this month.
It's the third straight day of massive declines for Groupon (GRPN), with shares diving 10% on Monday and nearly 15% on Tuesday
"The stock has been very weak this week, as investors have continuing concern about growing competition and Groupon's overall business fundamentals," said Ed Woo, analyst at Wedbush Securities.
Yikes, that's rough. Hey, you know what they should do to fix this? They should offer a Groupon type deal on Groupon stocks, that should help "stimulate business." Let's all go in on one together and buy as many as we can.
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3 comments:
Should probably mention that I've written about a few things for Gilt City, but keep in mind I'm a giant hypocrite who has no morals.
one quick way for me to know i don't want to go out to dinner with friends is if they say, "I got a groupon for this restaurant." i should probably mention i have no friends.
this story gave me a total sideways face :/
http://thedailywh.at/2011/11/22/going-out-of-business-sale-of-the-day/
Oh brother, that sounds like she got herself in a bit of a pickle.
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