Originally posted at Street Carnage
Every now and again I like to front like I know what I’m talking about when it comes to art, but really, who can ever tell what all these insane arts and crafts narcissists are getting up to. Actually, my friend here who works as an independent curator and arts magazine editor and writer can tell. Turns out there’s a surprising amount of cock-sucking going on.
That’s not that surprising come to think of it.
STREET CARNAGE: What is it that you do? What is the name for your job?
ART CURATOR/WRITER: I have a few titles, actually. I do several things, but they’re all art related. I do a lot of editing, I do a lot of blogging, I write for a handful of international art magazines. I also curate a few shows a year around the country.
Does your actual responsibility correspond with your title? Meaning, like, an art buyer who buys art, etc…
It does. I edit. I write. I curate. Most of what I do is write editorial content and assign content to other writers. I edit everything that comes through the magazine and the blog. As both an editor and a curator, the bulk of what I do is coordinate and plan.
What do you actually spend most of your day doing?
Smoking pot and watching gay porn on Xtube. I also write about contemporary art non-stop and send emails when my hands are free. On my most productive days, I’ll beat off three or four times. I have an office, but I work from home a few days a week for the aforementioned reasons. And let’s be real, everything is done via email these days, so why not stay home and be productive?
That’s pretty impressive. Beating off three or four times a day is kind of an appropriate metaphor for contemporary art right?
A lot of art-making practices right now are all about process, so sure. Yeah.
How did you find your way into this job? Is it something that you always wanted to do?
I wound up in the art world by complete surprise, at least to me. I ended up in my first gallery by accident. I became friends with a guy who always talked about opening up a gallery with his millions. When he did, I asked if he needed help and was hired on the spot. I worked for him for seven months, then took an offer from another art dealer in town and was the assistant director there for two years.
Kicking ass in the art world wasn’t something I always wanted to do, but I do it really well. On the subject of things I’m great at, some of the hottest sex I had during this period was at the gallery when the owner was gone. My new boss lived in another city and would only come into town on the weekends, which made working late pretty feasible. I enjoyed some incredible cocks that could easily be considered works of art. They belonged in a gallery.
Even writing about art came as a kind of accident. An artist I knew needed a writer to review her show and a local alt-weekly invited me to cover it. A local arts magazine completely plagiarized my review, sentence by sentence, so when I brought it to the editor’s attention, they fired the writer and hired me instead. And my clippings from the new writing gig got me picked up by a couple of big art journals. A column I wrote for an alt-weekly got me noticed by a publisher, and now I edit his entire magazine. I make shit money, but I love what I do.
Is there a lot of training involved in getting to where you are?
Curators are highly academic positions. People go to school for years to study curation and critical studies. After I finished my undergrad degree (which was in an unrelated field), I wanted to get work right away. So that’s what I did. While working for galleries, I worked with artists, museum curators, dealers, collectors -– you name it. My training was actually the experience of being completely immersed in the art world itself. I studied art history a lot while doing my undergrad and I still use that knowledge all the time. But ultimately, I think success is like sucking cock –- the only way you’re going to get better is by being talented and loving what you do.
Unfortunately I’ll have to take your word on that. What’s the contemporary art collector/appreciator like? Are the half-assed stereotypes all true? Is everyone gay and rich, in other words?
Fortunately, I don’t work with collectors. (Insert cheerful noise.) I work directly with artists, which is why I think I have the best job. You come to better understand the process behind how the work is made and, if you’re lucky, you get to experience the act of that work being produced. I get to do studio visits in New York and across the country with artists who are really pioneers at what they do. I worked years ago as a director for a private gallery and I was never any good at making sales––I just wanted to talk about the work the whole time.
To answer your question with regards to wealth, not every collector is gay and rich. I would say that most of them are actually rich straight guys (which is a shame because straight men have awful taste, regardless of what we’re talking about). The most inspiring, unbelievably talented and incredible people I’ve had the pleasure of knowing in the art world are those with the least amount of money. And the best collectors are those who want to be patrons to artists, putting money in their pocket so they can continue doing what they do best, be it making paintings or building altars to giant cocks.
Who are the worst people you have to deal with?
Artists who have no idea how to talk about their work. The absolute worst thing about what I do is having to read artist statements. I’ve read some real pieces of shit, statements that read like the English equivalent of an Ed Hardy T-shirt. Imagine having to read “it is what it is” spread across 200 words mixed in with a healthy smattering of five-dollar words that are often irrelevant. Sometimes it’s enough to make your eyes bleed.
Sounds like most of the stuff I write for this site. What’s the single stupidest thing you’ve ever heard someone say or seen someone do in a gallery?
Once, at a museum opening, I watched a performance artist from Beijing strip off a bodysuit of double-sided tape covered in hundreds of jagged glass shards, creating a sea of broken glass around him during his performance. It was a metaphor for the contemporary Chinese condition –- the punishment associated with freedom –- but it was frightening to watch, especially when he walked away.
I was in Chelsea at a gallery recently and heard a woman staring at a white painting say to her friend, “It’s really angry. I love how angry it is.” I collect awful moments like those on a weekly basis.
Listening to people talk in art galleries was like the beta-version of internet commenters. Stupid people talking to get attention and deflect. Speaking of aggression, you ever see any fights in your line of work? What’s it like when an art person gets in a fight?
Art beef is catty. If the art world was socialized on the playground like the rest of us, it would be the girl with sassy pigtails who would refuse to invite you to her birthday party if you pissed her off. There are a lot of egos in the art world and that’s a cliché, but it’s an accurate cliché. It’s based on fact, like Asian kids and math. Art history is all name/style recognition, so it’s no surprise that the art world itself is built the same way. (Hence the egos.) The fights I’ve seen have been either shouting matches or egotistical cold wars.
The biggest breakdown I ever witnessed was when my old art dealer boss told an artist (who was major bros with Madonna and Warhol years ago) that they didn’t know what they were doing. It was like watching the mouth of hell open and unravel before you. I thought my boss was going to be bludgeoned to death by broken painting stretchers and L pins.
Who are some of the artists we should be paying attention to now? Are there even any?
There are more than I can possibly name here. There are almost too many. Artists that free themselves from thinking in a single way about making work are the ones really on the rise.
What about some of these big name “guerrilla” or “street” artists that everyone has a giant boner for these past few years. Is that whole thing bullshit or what?
It’s bullshit. I think graffiti has a very important place in terms of influencing contemporary art making and that’s been visible since the ’80s with guys like Basquiat. Influence is one thing. When you bring the actual street technique into the white walls/confines of a museum, it turns into something else. It belongs on the street where it’s made or in a site-specific installation.
What would you say to someone who has checked out of the concept of art entirely in order to entice them to give it another shot?
“Have you always been this lazy?”
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4 comments:
Hey Luke old buddy. Speaking of art how about more shots of The Best Night Ever® with that good Catholic girl doing blow for Jesus? Just to cleanse the palate of the gay curator thing. Thanks.
here's a few of some other ladies
http://tittaycitay.com/photo/1280/2665015038/1/tumblr_leqwffhhvF1qedcqt
http://tittaycitay.com/photo/1280/3128009496/1/tumblr_lg4ts2xg0Q1qedcqt
the full length shot of our girl is out there somewhere, but can't find it.
So much better than van Gogh. YOU are the artist my friend.
I really enjoyed your article,you tell the truth like it is,brilliant!
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