You know how we feel about Yelp around here, right? It's the official entitlement-based shopping advice website for giant fucking babies and 23 year Asian American foodie girls of PTSOTL. Well, maybe this whole everyone's a food critic trend has had some positive consequences, because now that American palates are so refined we're capable of picking out the subtle nuances of flavor profiles in everything we eat: like loads of man-goo in yogurt, for example.
Confirming the suspicions of a New Mexico woman, a yogurt sample provided to her last month by a grocery clerk contained semen, according to test results that prompted police to secure a search warrant authorizing them to collect blood and DNA samples from the suspect....
According to a police report, the 28-year-old victim was shopping with her daughter in the store’s cereal aisle when she was approached by Garcia, who worked in the store’s dairy department. After accepting Garcia’s offer of a yogurt sample, the woman immediately thought the sample tasted “gross and disgusting” and, cops reported, “said it tasted like ‘semen.’” The Smoking Gun
“I spit it out on the floor many times cuz I was upset," the woman said in her police report, which is something we can all relate to over here fellas, right LOL!?
Apparently, and this is not a joke, as much as it probably should be, when the woman spoke with the manager after, she told her that it was their Greek yogurt, and that 'People love it has lot of protein on it.'"
Yeah, manager lady, I've tried that one too, and it doesn't work.
All of which brings up a pretty complicated question: Would you rather have semen for yogurt, or yogurt for semen?
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6 comments:
the real question is, would you rather have yogurt or shoes for semen?
Or yogurt for shoes?
I think it's obvious it goes like this:
yogurt for shoes
semen for shoes
yogurt for semen
shoes for semen
semen for yogurt
shoes for yogurt
HAHAHHAHAH Greek Yogurt. Can't wait to use that.
Somehow that fact that it was Greek makes it so much worse. No offense to the really tan, hairy Greek guys in speedos I'm imagining right now.
Hey my friend you are thinking of me!
Sincerely,
Adelphos Thanassis
P.S. Who is charming coke whore in upper right? She make me want to dispense yogurt. From the pennis!
Haha, yeah, that's an image from a little series I like to call Best Night Ever. Full NSFW pic here:
http://sugeswood.tumblr.com/photo/1280/2677829998/1/tumblr_lescneWh3x1qcrou0
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