Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Yelp

Joshua Hagler
Remember that old saying "everyone's a critic"? You know that wasn't supposed to be a suggestion, right? Pretty sure it's okay to put the stop watch and the notebook away there Frank Bruni. The third order of free bread is on its way. Entitled fucking CSI team combing over the ceviche with infrared cameras.

In terms of actual real world usefulness, firing off 300 word missives about the over-salted sea bass you had last night falls somewhere between rubbing one off into a hat just before you put it on and running around with scissors in your mouth the long way. Sure, probably a good way to relieve some stress, but keep that mess to yourself.

Restaurants are either good or bad. Finding out on your own is part of the deal. You don't like a place? Don't go back. You like it? See you next time. Otherwise I've got a reservation for you in one of our best tables...ON THE LIST.

brought to you by

7 comments:

said...

I have never been able to determine whether or not to go to a restaurant/bar by using yelp. I think it actually makes it harder to figure out.

Anonymous said...

10 people say it sucks, 10 people say it's great. Now what?

Anna said...

God, I hate Yelp too, I hate it!!! Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Nothing worse than these entitled children

said...

Yelp can help businesses as well, obviously. But yeah, you get one douche who talks out of his ass, and his review appearing at the top... that really sucks. Luckily, after this dude tried tell my sister that her bags weren't handmade, then told her she is a liar for politely correcting him - she received a deluge of positive reviews from royally pissed Laura Bee fans. We're thinking this guy is a) mentally disturbed b) a 12 year old boy c) was visiting a different store? -Susannah

http://www.yelp.com/biz/laura-bee-designs-seattle?rpp=40&sort_by=date_desc

said...

"In terms of actual real world usefulness, firing off 300 word missives about the over-salted sea bass you had last night falls somewhere between rubbing one off into a hat just before you put it on and running around with scissors in your mouth the long way. Sure, probably a good way to relieve some stress, but keep that mess to yourself."

My favorite paragraph!

said...

Ha. I was proud of that little ditty.

Post a Comment