Yikes, did you just hear one of Linda's wacky stories about her day at the office or get word that your family was killed in a fire?

You know that what you're doing is essentially screaming out loud in public, right? I don't care if the old gang just got back together and you're catching up on last night's Leno bits, you're ruining my ability to focus on how much everything sucks in peace and quiet over here at the bar like a normal person.

Why don't you just do what readers of this blog the last few days do: keep the laughter to a bare fucking minimum. Stuff some calamari in that face hole. The triple-mouthed fog horn siren attack is a total boner.

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