First of all: I smoke!
That's right, exclamation point. Suck it. Camel Lights usually, but lately I've been smoking mad Newports cause I'm due in court. But I will never, ever, smoke Marlboro lights.
People usually smoke these while simultaneously texting 'your stupid' to their Mensa friends from back when they attended UMass Dartmouth and studied the Red Sox.
That's right, exclamation point. Suck it. Camel Lights usually, but lately I've been smoking mad Newports cause I'm due in court. But I will never, ever, smoke Marlboro lights.
People usually smoke these while simultaneously texting 'your stupid' to their Mensa friends from back when they attended UMass Dartmouth and studied the Red Sox.
Marlboro Lights just taste absolutely terrible. Really, like ass. They are a great cultural signifier however. When a chick smokes a Marlboro Light, it is transformed into a slut stick. The smoke that drifts, tramp-like, from her DSLs hangs in front of an overly made-up, tan, and moderately attractive face.
Continuing downward you'll find a super sexy 'going out shirt' (under which a tramp stamp lurks), jeans that 'make my ass look good,' and wedge heel sandals. If the slut stick smoker needs a light, which they will, it will be supplied by a dude sporting a Livestrong bracelet,who frosted his tips in junior high and now, surprisingly, still sucks. They will converse. Mumble mumble gurgle Dave show babble babble midtown glurg doop doop doop can I bum one and so on. Later, they will bond over a shared love of Dane Cook then go make sex. All because of a Marlboro light!
Sometimes there is so much beauty in the world I don't feel like I can take it.
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3 comments:
this is a good one, but i can't help but think that having a particular brand of cigarettes at all is on the list. i will pretty much smoke anything but i do prefer light and even ultra light cigarettes because i'm fooling myself into thinking they are slightly less bad for me. as i get older and more prone to cancer, i'm less judgmental about marlboro light smokers.
livestrong bracelets are on the list FOR SURE though.
Missed this one, good one...
there's gotta be a better way to know when there's a comment.
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