Miami Dolphins player Brandon Marshall, whom I have a wholly justified hatred of based simply on the fact that he plays professional football two times a year against a team I personally support due to an accident of geographical happenstance that placed the building the New England Patriots players go to work at within a 50 mile radius of where I live, is no stranger to controversy. When former Denver Broncos teammate Darrent Williams was murdered a couple years ago, it seems likely, according to this very interesting Sports Illustrated article about the perils of spraying champagne on them hoes up in the club, making it rain, flashing your chain, and whatever other ridiculous shit young millionaires and the people who want to be them do when they go out, that Marshall was the intended target.
"We were outside that limo, so that's probably why they shot at that limo," he said. "If I didn't act rowdy outside the club? It probably wouldn't have happened."
He may have dodged a bullet on that one, but...wait for it... dodging a knife. apparently isn't quite as easy.
*Journalism*
No, no! How about this? Brandon Marshall may be used to going up against the toughest NFL attacks, but his wife was one defense this shifty wide receiver couldn't cut through. Aww, fuck it. To the box quote:
The wife of Miami Dolphins star receiver Brandon Marshall has been charged with stabbing him in the abdomen with a kitchen knife during a domestic violence incident, according to a report from the Broward County, Florida, sheriff's office.
Michi Nogami-Marshall, 27, was charged Friday evening with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, which allegedly occurred in their Southwest Ranches, Florida, home, according to the sheriff's report.CNN
When questioned by police, Marshall said he fell and cut himself on a broken vase, which is funny, because he probably used that same type of she-slipped-and-fell-on-my-penis logic right before his wife was heading for the silverware drawer.
The moral of the story? Who the fuck are these people getting into physical fights with their spouses? Also, that was kind of a long set up for that slipped onto the penis line. I need a new hobby.
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of Marshall having a Richie Tenenbaum like break down at practice is still pretty hillarious though.
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6 comments:
The first player cut during the NFL lockout.
I'd say he's not cut out for marriage.
Hoof.
"However, the area of where the vase was broken indicated no blood within the immediate area to substantiate his claim," the report said.
Same thing they said about Schilling.
I've always said that Marshall plays with guts.
Does Lisa Left Eye hafta show a bitch how it's done? Burn your man's shit to the ground!
She did kind of set the bar pretty high, huh?
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