Seems like it was only a couple hours ago we were talking about waving your taint in the air for the Lamb of God, and now here's this other story, both of which are starting to make me question whether or not this whole organized religion thing might be a little bit questionable.
This news report comes from WLWT in Ohio. It's about a church that holds a giveaway every Easter, the holiest day in the entire Christian faith, to get more warm bodies in the door. That's the religion equivalent of having an open bar at your wedding I guess, or a buy one get one free lunch special. In this case the prize isn't getting drunk near relatives you don't know, and won't know for as long as you live, or a discount on a totally stacked turkey club, it's eternal salvation.
Just kidding, it's cash.
FAIRFIELD, Ohio -- A Butler County church that gave away $1,000 to fill more pews last Easter Sunday says it will do it again this year and on future Easters.
Lindenwald Baptist Church in Fairfield draws names to award $500 each to a member of the congregation and a guest.
Pastor Randy Moore said the church had hoped for 1,000 worshipers last year, when it made the offer for the first time. It packed in 1,140 – more than double the usual Sunday attendance of around 500.
"There were more visitors last year than we had members in our church," Moore said.
I may have misunderstood my first twenty years or so on Earth when I was learning about this stuff, but the thing I learned from the guys in sales at the Jesus Co. was that you're not supposed to gamble, because it's worshiping a false god. This whole scenario seems antithetical to the true mission of the church.
LOL. Tricked you again you guys! Everyone knows the whole reason churches were set up was so they could guilt you into tithing a percentage of your money in exchange for a magic spell that meant you wouldn't burn in a pool of shit fire for eternity. And now you know why everyone hates insurance salesmen and always will. (No offense, dad.)
Some good came out of this Ohio church's efforts though.
"Last year, the church awarded $250 to a 10-year-old boy who'd come alone by bus. 'All of a sudden we heard this little guy scream out real quick, 'I got the number, I won,'' said Sharon Moore, the pastor's wife. Randy Moore said he felt blessed to watch the boy's face light up."
It almost breaks your heart doesn't it? They shared the greatest blessing of all with that young boy right there. An opportunity to sniff out this phoney bullshit while he's still young.
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I sure taught you a lesson there didn't I, religion!?
Randy Moore said he felt blessed to watch the boy's face light up.Randy Moore said he felt blessed to watch the boy's face light up.Randy Moore said he felt blessed to watch the boy's face light up.Randy Moore said he felt blessed to watch the boy's face light up.
I had something really good about the money from this story and the strippers from the last one, but then I lost my train of thought because all my childhood guilt came back from thinking about church too much.
damnit.
It's ok, I still feel guilty every time I say this kind of thing myself.
Shit, I'll award $250 to a 10-year-old boy who'd come alone without leaving the house. Wait, what?
perverts!
in this episode, jesus visits herod's temple which is filled with livestock and the tables of the money changers. he drives them all out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen, pours out the changers' money, and overturns the tables. "get these out of here! do not make my father's house a house of merchandise!", he screams.
#takeiteasyjesus
#gamblingistheworkofthedevil,butstillprettysweet
btw, that image is hot business.
total wolf sweet.
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