The great thing about these beer towers that you see the worst dudes in the world sucking on like a yeasty, hoppy teat (mmm, hoppy teat), is that it's a pretty convenient way to scan whatever bar you've just walked into and decide where you want to sit: as far away from these bro-hammers as possible, thanks.

Beer towers combine the best of everything broz are broey about: beer, getting shitty, bongs, and over obvious representations of their bro dicks. No homo, bro, but if your dick spit out beer this good, would it be gay if I poured myself off one more cup for the road?

Tough news for Boston homers though, because the narcs down at the alcohol licensing commission just harshed your buzz, as the Boston Globe reports. "Boston licensing officials have suspended the use of increasingly-popular large, portable beer taps and are requiring that businesses already licensed to serve alcohol request permission to use the beverage dispensers."

“Please be advised the [licensing] board is taking this stance based on its concerns with serving the public need and at the same time protecting the common good and safety of all,” reads the letter that the licensing chair said began being sent out Friday and continued Monday.

Right, like my public need to not have to get puked on and punched in the teeth by a wobbly Northeastern econ major who thinks beer is a contest.





Turns out the board wasn't even aware that these things existed until they got a bunch of complaints on St. Patrick's Day (no kidding, huh?), which is weird because the only reason they exist is to throw penalty flags at bars.

Haha, you guys are so wacky.

Just like in Germany bro. via

Isn't this fun? This is fun, right? via

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