You see some truly unbelievable shit going down in the city every day. For example, just the other day I saw a guy actually walk up to a payphone and check the slot for change. Blew my mind. Think about that for a second...
Anyway, do you realize that there are still people walking around out there telling jokes? Like real deal set up and punch line jokes. Hey, did you hear the one about the... type of jokes.
The colossal leap of ego this sort of maneuver takes just boggles the mind. Everyone gather round now, I've decided to begin an impromptu performance. I know you thought you were just standing there enjoying your peace and quiet, but now I must command your attention for a few excruciatingly boring minutes at the end of which you will be required to respond.
The drawn out horror. The long, slow slog. It's like a microcosm of the cruel march of pitiless death while the douche sets things up. You can see the goofy grin forming on his face while he's walking through the steps in his mind. Everyone quiets down, eyes darting around nervously, fidgeting with hands in pockets. It's kind of like reading this post.
Then you've got to do that thing sometimes where you play along cause you can see the guy is dying, so you say shit like "oh...no way..." and "man, really?" I was just standing here a second ago not bothering anyone, and now I've been recruited against my will as the straight man for this bumbling Jay Leno fan? Guh.
Then the punch line, like the sweet release of the eternal grave, at long last comes. And obviously no one is laughing. But since you're not a total villain, you've got to muster up a moderately believable chuckle to help this kid save face. Now you've not only turned me into an audience against my will, you've also made me a phony.
Couldn't you have at least told me a story about your dead mother, or the totally weird dream you had last night? At least then I'd know how to repsond naturally. [jerking off motion].
You can work your entire life and no one is going to call you the worker, you can travel the world and no one is going to call you the traveller, but you tell one boring fucking joke... Guess what? You're a boorish cunt.
Anyway, do you realize that there are still people walking around out there telling jokes? Like real deal set up and punch line jokes. Hey, did you hear the one about the... type of jokes.
The colossal leap of ego this sort of maneuver takes just boggles the mind. Everyone gather round now, I've decided to begin an impromptu performance. I know you thought you were just standing there enjoying your peace and quiet, but now I must command your attention for a few excruciatingly boring minutes at the end of which you will be required to respond.
The drawn out horror. The long, slow slog. It's like a microcosm of the cruel march of pitiless death while the douche sets things up. You can see the goofy grin forming on his face while he's walking through the steps in his mind. Everyone quiets down, eyes darting around nervously, fidgeting with hands in pockets. It's kind of like reading this post.
Then you've got to do that thing sometimes where you play along cause you can see the guy is dying, so you say shit like "oh...no way..." and "man, really?" I was just standing here a second ago not bothering anyone, and now I've been recruited against my will as the straight man for this bumbling Jay Leno fan? Guh.
Then the punch line, like the sweet release of the eternal grave, at long last comes. And obviously no one is laughing. But since you're not a total villain, you've got to muster up a moderately believable chuckle to help this kid save face. Now you've not only turned me into an audience against my will, you've also made me a phony.
Couldn't you have at least told me a story about your dead mother, or the totally weird dream you had last night? At least then I'd know how to repsond naturally. [jerking off motion].
You can work your entire life and no one is going to call you the worker, you can travel the world and no one is going to call you the traveller, but you tell one boring fucking joke... Guess what? You're a boorish cunt.
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8 comments:
i see you've relaxed a bit with the swearing mandate mr. oneil. i can't believe jake didn't write this one btw.
swearing is good when appropriate.
This thing is riddled with typos. Also, what's the best thing about fucking twenty nine year olds?
try it now.
THERES TWENTY OF THEM
Luke you should try living in NYC where homeless guys tell you 27 jokes in a row for change whether you want them to or not.
should i?
no
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